Thursday, March 5, 2009

No Staplers Were Hurt in the Making of this...

First off, sorry I haven't had time to post lately (work - the one where I get paid - has been a complete nightmare). I started this blog just to give myself a creative outlet. It turns out, that there are real people who read this! How fun is that? I always hated creative writing in school, but I love to tell a good story!

In my last post, I alluded to a practical joke that I pulled on one of my co-workers. I thought I would share how the whole thing unfolded. To set the stage, we sit in rows of cubes (kind of like the ones on Dilbert or Office Space). My coworker "H" has one of those red Swingline staplers (like Milton from Office Space.)

"H" made the mistake of going on vacation and leaving her stapler behind. Just so I would be the sole bearer of "H's" wrath on her return, I roped my IT guy in on the project. So we stole the stapler and left a note in return. Here's a picture of the ransom letter (done in powerpoint of course, because we are a bunch of corporate paper-pushers):

Upon "H" returning to the office, she left a lengthy note something along the lines of "You people are ruining my life....therefore the lives of my husband and children...". It was pretty guilt-ridden and made us feel a little bad. So we decided to send her our demands. We sent a lovely little letter requesting "1 case of Berry flavored Enviga and a 6 pack of Diet Pepsi Max" along with this picture:

She probably should have figured it out at this point given the specificity of the ransom request. But, she decided to get legal representation instead. Granted, the legal representation was actually 2 other people from our office (that is not a law firm) and they wrote up a 2 page memo on how "H" does not "corroborate with terrorists" and something about treason....yada yada yada....and that she would not be meeting our demands.

IT guy and I really weren't planning on actually making her meet the demands because we had something else in mind. At this point, we decided to get 2 more coworkers in on the deal (IT guy #2 and "B"), because it was beginning to become all encompassing (and we didn't want to be the sole receivers of the wrath of "H"). I dug through my son's toybox until I found them! They were going to come to the rescue of the stapler! IT guy #2 set all of this up the night before. The next morning when "H" walked in, this is what greeted her:

We also wrote a news article for the "World Events Daily". The article is below. It's a little hard to read, but "B" (coworker/culprit #4) did an absolutely fabulous job with it. Sadly, 3 little green army men were lost in this daring rescue attempt :(.

There you have it. "H" has yet to retaliate, but IT guy #1, IT guy #2, and "B" are ready if she decides. That's it for now. I promise to not wait too long between posts next time!!

Tata - K!

1 comment:

  1. Okay, that's odd... I thought I left a comment on here before...

    Love the article, love the army men, definitely would have held out for at least some donuts...

    And not at all related to this post - Why doesn't your blog have a header with the blog name on it?