Tuesday, February 2, 2010

The Truth...

So, this isn't going to be a normal post for me, but I really need to share some things that are bothering me. If you are looking for funny, witty, or anything like that, you may not want to read on.

I told you a few months ago that my mom has breast cancer again.  She's doing well (all things considered).  She's taking her chemo, but other than that, not much more can be done at this point.  We're waiting.  Not sure for what.  Or, maybe I do know, and I just don't want to admit it. 

I also have a sister.

A sister that I love very much.  But sometimes she can be "trying".  Probably putting it mildly. 

I also have a husband.

Again, a husband that I love very much.  Just for the record, he can be a bit "trying" too.

And I suppose just so they don't feel left out, I'm also a mom, a daddy's girl, an employee, a church member, a school volunteer, a niece, a cousin, a grandaughter, and on and on and on...

Here's the situation...

Everyone in my family tends to call me to "share" their problems with.  My mom lost her best friend (and sister) to breast cancer 3 years ago.  I'm her best friend now.  Sometimes she and my sister don't see eye to eye, and I hear it from both of them.  Heck, I've even caught myself telling my sister to call me rather than taking it out on mom. 

My dad wanted to run for school board?  Mom vented to me.

Our PTO Treasurer (a really nice guy) was indicted on federal charges (oops).   What do I say?  "I can take over until you find someone new".  Wait a minute.  I'm President-elect of the PTO.  That means it's my problem to find someone new.

And today?  My husband was having a bad day at work and said he was feeling a bit "short" with everyone. 

Guess what I told him?

Yep.  "Honey, don't take it out on other people.  If you need to vent, you can vent to me."

The problem?

I can't deal with everyone's problems.  What am I thinking?  I don't want anyone else to feel bad, so I tell them to give their problems to me.  Huh? 

I find it exhausting.

I can't fix things.  If I could, my mom would be healthy.  I would have more money.  My ex would be blasted off the face of this earth.  I would be skinny.

I like those last two.

Life is good.  God is in charge.  I need to quit trying to fix it.

Thanks for listening.


PS - Now that I read through this, I sound like a complete whiner.  I really needed to get this off my chest, though.  So please don't judge.