The World According to Kelli

An Answered Prayer...

2011-02-08T13:34:00.000-08:00

I haven't posted an update on mom for awhile. I've kept a lot of what's been going on to myself, but to make a long story short, my mother has had a setback with her cancer. Right after Thanksgiving we found out that the cancer had returned and had moved to her spinal and cerebral fluids. This isn't great news. She's been in and out of the hospital since December. When she's not at the hospital, she's been spending time at a great rehab nursing home facility here in Northern Kentucky.

About 4 weeks ago, we had to move her back to the hospital and it turned out that she had a staph meningitis infection from the chemo port in her head. Wow! They treated her for 3 weeks in the hospital and last Thursday moved her back to her rehab home. She seems to really like it there and actually makes great progress when she's there.

I need to backtrack a little bit and first of all remind you that I should be welcoming my little girl within the next 2 - 3 weeks. Yay me!

Doing this without my mom right by my side has been really hard. One of the things that's made it a lot easier is my mom's (and my) friend, Anna. Anna and mom have known each other since high school and I feel like I've known Anna for as long as I've been alive. She saw me graduate from high school, made my wedding dress, threw me a wedding shower, and all kinds of other great things that really cool people do in your life!

Anna was a nurse and a mom, and has really helped me through a lot this pregnancy (after all, I'm 10 years older than last time I did this)! She sends me really long incoherent text messages almost every day checking on the baby and me. Sits hours upon hours with mom, just so me and dad don't feel like we always need to be there. And within 24 hours of my shower a few weeks ago, was making plans to come over and help me wash everything for the baby. She was also going to come to the hospital with me when the baby was born since my mom couldn't come with me.

We didn't get around to fixing the nursery up together. She called me and told me that she was at the hospital and that I wasn't supposed to worry about her. But she had had a stress test and it came back showing some blockage. Within a day, they had her bypass surgery scheduled.

I was a wreck. And i've been a wreck ever since.

About 2 hours ago, I got a call saying she was being released from the hospital. Praise God! But that she wasn't going to go home. Ugh! She was going to have to be in a rehab. Ugh!! For 20 days. Ugh!!! So, she's going to miss the birth of my baby. UGH!!!!

But you know what?

It turns out that she's moving to the same rehab facility as my mother.

On the same floor.

Their rooms are right across the hall from each other!!!

Not only is it now so much easier for me to see mom AND Anna, but they get to see each other on a daily basis. Anna just does so much for so many people. You should see mom light up when she comes to see her. I think their recovery is going to go so much easier now that they will be able to do it together.

They are already making plans on what they are going to have for dinner tonight! LOL! Although the facility is great, the food leaves a little to be desired :).

I didn't mean to ramble, but I'm just constantly amazed at how the Lord answers prayers! It boggles my mind to even think about how long He's been working on this one!

Love and Blessings, my friends!

Kelli

I Identify with Dilbert :(

2011-01-11T11:13:00.000-08:00

I see myself in this Dilbert strip! And although it's not exactly positive, it's Dilbert that I identify with.

What do you do when you know you're right, but people just don't understand? Maybe in my case, my vision just doesn't fit with others. I seriously need to polish up my influencing skills. Although, I'm not even sure that would make much of a difference.

All I know, is that I have 22 days left until maternity leave. I can make it!

Sorry to be a Debbie Downer. But it's just how I feel these days!

Talk to y'all soon!

Love, Kelli

Merry Christmas!

2010-12-16T15:48:00.000-08:00

I probably won't get a chance to post again before Christmas. So I thought I'd leave you with some of my favorite Christmas pics :)!

Enjoy!

The entire family singing Christmas carols on Christmas Eve. Every year! That may or may not be me playing the piano. That is my handsome nephew turning the pages for me the pianist.

My son showing my niece how to operate Grandpa's train station. I have no idea why he's sitting like that!

My sweet niece heading up the stairs to go to bed before Santa gets there. How stinking cute is she?!?!?!?!

What do you know? Santa left the fireplace open! I wish you could see the dumb-founded look on his face when he turned around! My camera shot was 2 seconds to quick!

One of my best wrapping jobs! Do you think he knows he's getting boots for Christmas?

One of my niece's best wrapping jobs. She did manage to use a little bit of wrapping paper with her tape!

This was one of my favorite gifts last year. Only because I love monkeys. not because of anything else!

You know you live in Kentucky, when....

Yes. I did indeed take that picture. While driving. Do you need a closer look?

Merry Christmas from my family to yours!

Love, Kelli

Miss You

2010-11-22T11:41:00.000-08:00

Grandma,

I can't even begin to describe how much I will miss you. You taught me to always speak my mind. You taught me to never to depend on a man to do something for me. You taught me that a woman with an 8th grade education, with 5 young kids and a deceased husband, who didn't own a car or drivers license, could be an incredibly successful and happy woman. Thank you for being such a positive role model for me.

Now that you are walking with Jesus, I hope Heaven is just the way you were dreaming!

Marie Louise Shields

January 23, 1924 - November 15, 2010

Love,

Kelli

Girls Rock!!

2010-10-19T10:24:00.000-07:00

I can't even begin to say how much I LOVE giving this kid of news! I've had a rough year as you've seen from the updates about my mom. If you are just joining, here's the background.

Here
Here
and Here!

Well, we just got some really awesome news! My mom had her last round of PET scans last week and they came back clean! Praise God!!

What does this mean?

Basically, she had Stage IV Breast Cancer. This is the third time she's had this awful disease, dating way back to when I was in high school (in the rockin' 80's). She also had another round about 6 years ago where she finally decided to have a double radical mastectomy. She had both breasts, the surrounding tissue, and all of her local lymph nodes removed as well. This was to make sure nothing came back.

Well, it did. The dr's must have missed something as small as a cell. And since she didn't have any chemo with her surgery, the tiny cell multiplied and multiplied for 6 long years.

She was diagnosed last October with Stage IV Breast Cancer. It was Stage IV because it had metastasized from the original location (obviously given she had surgery to remove her breasts) and the tumor was quite large. In early 2010, she had a set back. The cancer had spread to her bones. There were also spots in her liver and her lungs (that may or may not have been cancer).

The prognosis wasn't great. We even had some hard conversations about her last wishes. That sucked.

Well, she switched doctors and treatments. The combination really kicked cancer-butt!

It's taken exactly 1 year, 1 week, a beautiful head of dark brown hair, 2 eyebrows, and a very much missed set of eye lashes, but the cancer is gone!!!

You go, mom!

Also, it turns out that mom's new grandbaby that we are expecting in February is going to be a girl! I hope that she has even a fraction of the fortitutude, patience, and faith that her grandma has!

Love you all!

Kelli

PS - Please pick one day a month to do your monthly check! My birthday is on the 27th of December, so I will do my check every 27th (it's just an easy date for me to remember). Trust me, it's in my calendar! Promise me that you will do your personal check every month. It doesn't matter how old you are! Start now. It could save your life!

A bit like Darth Vader...

2010-09-13T15:24:00.000-07:00

First off, I want to thank my son and hubs for making this post possible. If it were not for them, I'd have nothing for this week's Life is Funny carnival over at Wendy's place. And to think they had this little conversation on a Monday evening. Thanks guys!

So, this story started back this weekend. My husband and I were cleaning out the spare bedroom that will eventually become the new baby's nursery. We had TONS of crap in there and needed to go through it, organize it, and hopefully get rid of most of it. We also ended up deciding to give it a fresh coat of paint and to pull the carpet out.

While we were prepping for the painting part of it, my hubs rigged up a lamp on an overturned dresser drawer to give us a bit of light.

This may not sound all that dangerous just yet, but apparently it is.

He went to move the light contraption so I could vaccuum underneath, and managed to burn the underside of his chin with the top of the light bulb.

It hurt.

He cursed.

He held a cold compress on his chin for the next 2 hours.

He survived.

He now has a burn the size of a golf ball under his chin. It's not awful looking, although it's bright red and beginning to scab over a bit.

Flash forward to this evening when he got home from work.

I told him that I thought it was cute and asked him if anyone wanted to know what it was. Hubs said that he got tired of telling people it was a burn from a lightbulb (since noone knows lightbulbs are that hot) and decided to tell people I gave him a hickey. (I'm thinking he's just kidding, but I don't like the sound of it anyway).

I gave him my evil stink eye and then we both looked over and realized that our 9 year old was standing in the room. I gave hubs the second stink eye of the last minute which meant "how are you going to explain this to him?".

He looked at our son and said "It looks like a Mickey. Yeah that's what I said."

Our son looks at him and says. "You know, it doesn't look like Mickey. I think it kind of looks like Darth Vader."

You know?

If you tilt your head to the right, and pretend your looking at someone's chin, I think he might be right.

Love,
K

Mom, when you were little....?

2010-08-24T06:30:00.000-07:00

I haven't participated in Wendy's Life is Funny carnival lately. Come to think of it, I guess I haven't blogged much lately either. Oh well. This may date me, but it's still kind of funny.

My son simply LOVES to listen to stories about when I was a little girl. Come to think of it, I really loved listen to my mom and dad's stories as well.

He also LOVES watching cartoons from my generation....Flintstones, Jetsons, Popeye, etc. His favorite happens to be the Smurfs (which also happened to be one of mine as well). So, I've let him tape a few episodes on our DVR so we can watch them together.

Oh, aren't they just adorable? I remember wanting my own real life Smurfs. I would keep them under my bed.

I'm not sure if my son thinks I'm older than dirt, or just born in the stone age.

After I all, I guess cartoons look much different today than they did back then.

So yesterday morning, we were driving to school. He had his thoughtful look on his face. I asked him what he was thinking about. That was a mistake.

"Mom? Were the Smurfs in color when you were a little girl?"

"Uh, Yeah, buddy. They were still blue way back then."

"Definitely blue."

Worst part? He was totally serious.

I'm not about to show him the Brady Bunch.

Love,
Kelli

First Days...

2010-08-17T13:06:00.000-07:00

He may not "officially" be my baby for much longer, but he will always be my baby and first love.

And he started the 4th grade today!

And check out the hair? We worked really hard on that hair!

And a walk down memory lane. Here is 3rd grade! Not quite sure what was going on with the hair that day. Must have been windy!

And second grade...I seriously love that he still had the remnants of his baby cheeks!

And the first grade! Funny observation...this is the same location as his 3rd grade pic a few above. Check out how much he grew!

Oh, and I can't forget his first day of Kindergarten/Montessori. Yes, that is a fake smile and real tears in his eyes. What a total cutie!

Love you buddy! Let's have another really great year!

Love,
Mom (Kelli)

Update Part 2

2010-08-11T11:57:00.000-07:00

I guess this is really Part 3, rather than Part 2. Although it is my second day of updates, although day 1 had 2 parts to it. I'm confusing myself. Basically, if you haven't read yesterday's post, I suggest you do first. Just so you understand everything in order.

For those of you that don't have time to read yesterday's post, here's the primer:
Part 1: I got a new job (within the same company) and I'm super excited about it. The outlook is bright!
Part 2: My mom's cancer is being woman-handled by a new great doctor and some serious treatments. The outlook is even brighter!

OK, now that that's settled.

Moving on.

So, I'm not sure that anyone that actually reads this blog (with the exception of maybe 4 people - Mel, Ben, Aunt Sharon, and Lana, you are henceforth forbidden to answer) knows exactly how old I am.

Let's just say that I'm older than 35 and younger than 40 and leave it at that.

So, I'm not quite sure how to say this. So maybe I'll post a pic.

Now, I have been accused on more than 30 occasions of being dramatic. I can assure you, though, that I'm not being dramatic here. In fact, I was in a bit of a shock...considering that my son is almost 10!

So there is my other "update"!

Very exciting stuff and y'all are the first to know. Except of course my husband, best friend, and parents.

I promise I don't have any other "surprises". But definitely looking forward to getting back into the swing of things again now that I'm feeling less "blechy" :).

God is good!

Love to all!

Kelli

Update

2010-08-10T07:11:00.000-07:00

So, CLEARLY it's time for an update! This is very long, but I promise it will be worth the read (especially part 2)!

I've had a rough few months dealing with lots of different things, but I tried to remain steadfast through the whole thing. I wasn't in control, and I couldn't control His plan.

I have a 3 part update for you, and I'll share the first 2 parts today. The second part is so great that I just want to give it air time. God is good!

Part 1:
I've "alluded" a few times over the last 8 months or so, that work was not necessarily going the way I had expected. Please don't get me wrong. I work for an amazing company. The company is global and on the large side. I've been here for 11 years and had about 6 or 7 different roles within the company. I've been in my most recent role for awhile. It was a training and development role, and I really feel like it's what I'm meant to do.

In January we had merged with several other similar groups from other areas in the company. I was very excited about all the opportunities and stepped up to take a different role with in the group. I'd be working for someone else (let's call her Stephanie).

I had worked with Stephanie in the past on special projects, but never as a manager/direct report. I'm not going to belabor this point, but Stephanie thought I was great. I was excited at first, but quickly realized that Stephanie and I weren't meant to work with each other. She was beyond super creative, but couldn't manage to get work done unless it was already done by me first.

I managed to keep a good working relationship with her, but when an opportunity came to move to a new role within the company? I jumped on it. Fifty job applicants and three interviews later, I was offered the role.

I just started my new role (which takes all of the great things that I have loved over the last 3 years - INCLUDING SOCIAL MEDIA, PEOPLE!!! - and I get paid to do them). Best part of all? I got to leave my previous role on great terms AND I get the opportunity to work with a great team with a much bigger scope than I've had in the past!

Can you say exciting?!?!?! God is good!

Part 2:
When I was going through the interview process, I was really struggling because my mom is still sick. I haven't posted too much on here, but here's the lowdown:

- Mom has Stage IV breast cancer and this is her 3rd time battling the cancer
- the tumor is under her left arm and is inoperable
- She was given Herceptin (the new miracle drug for breast cancer) and it has paralyzed her left arm completely.
- In March, we found that the cancer had spread to her bones near her spinal cord. If this spreads to her spinal cord, she could become paralyzed.
- There are also spots on her liver and lungs (that may or may not be cancer) that the docs are watching.
- Her doc has pretty much told her that there's not much sh can do, and that if she wants to remain on Herceptin for the "rest of her life" that "might" control it. Read: her doc has pretty much written her off.

I have a few friends that read my blog (when I actually write something), but for those of you that don't know my mom. She is one spunky, opinionated, spirit-filled woman and wasn't going to take to this "news" lightly.

First thing she did was get a second opinion and a new doctor!

He agreed with all of the findings, but didn't agree with the prognosis. They were going to fight this and fight it pretty hard. They combined a new kind of chemo (for the tumor under her arm) with radiation treatments (for the bones, liver, and lungs). This has been hard watching mom go through all of this. Really hard.

But God is good!

After all of these treatments they performed a new round of scans. You ready for this?!?!

- The cancer in her bones? Completely gone!
- The spots in her liver? Completely gone!
- The spots in her lungs? Completely gone!
- The tumor under her left arm? Still there. But! the tumor has gone down in size a tiny bit AND it's gone down in activity level almost to the point where it is considered inactive!

She's going to go through a new round of chemo to put the final death nail into this stupid tumor, but we fully are expecting her to go into remission!

My spunky, opinionated, spirit-filled mother is beating Stage IV breast cancer! You go mom!

God is good!

I do have one final update for you, but I wanted to let mom's fabulous news hang out here a bit.

Miss you all! I promise to not remain a stranger!

Love,
Kelli

The Truth...

2010-02-02T13:17:00.000-08:00

So, this isn't going to be a normal post for me, but I really need to share some things that are bothering me. If you are looking for funny, witty, or anything like that, you may not want to read on.

I told you a few months ago that my mom has breast cancer again. She's doing well (all things considered). She's taking her chemo, but other than that, not much more can be done at this point. We're waiting. Not sure for what. Or, maybe I do know, and I just don't want to admit it.

I also have a sister.

A sister that I love very much. But sometimes she can be "trying". Probably putting it mildly.

I also have a husband.

Again, a husband that I love very much. Just for the record, he can be a bit "trying" too.

And I suppose just so they don't feel left out, I'm also a mom, a daddy's girl, an employee, a church member, a school volunteer, a niece, a cousin, a grandaughter, and on and on and on...

Here's the situation...

Everyone in my family tends to call me to "share" their problems with. My mom lost her best friend (and sister) to breast cancer 3 years ago. I'm her best friend now. Sometimes she and my sister don't see eye to eye, and I hear it from both of them. Heck, I've even caught myself telling my sister to call me rather than taking it out on mom.

My dad wanted to run for school board? Mom vented to me.

Our PTO Treasurer (a really nice guy) was indicted on federal charges (oops). What do I say? "I can take over until you find someone new". Wait a minute. I'm President-elect of the PTO. That means it's my problem to find someone new.

And today? My husband was having a bad day at work and said he was feeling a bit "short" with everyone.

Guess what I told him?

Yep. "Honey, don't take it out on other people. If you need to vent, you can vent to me."

The problem?

I can't deal with everyone's problems. What am I thinking? I don't want anyone else to feel bad, so I tell them to give their problems to me. Huh?

I find it exhausting.

I can't fix things. If I could, my mom would be healthy. I would have more money. My ex would be blasted off the face of this earth. I would be skinny.

I like those last two.

Life is good. God is in charge. I need to quit trying to fix it.

Thanks for listening.

Love,
K

PS - Now that I read through this, I sound like a complete whiner. I really needed to get this off my chest, though. So please don't judge.

So,Yeah.....

2010-01-28T05:28:00.000-08:00

This commercial from American Airlines has always been one of my favorites.

Yeah.

Until last week....

Somehow, I managed to live this commercial in real life.

Most of you know that I may or may not work for a really large company headquartered somewhere (or not) in the midwest. Said company (which may or may not be large) likes to "invest" in it's people.

Normally, I LOVE these types of things.

Not so much this time.

I actually told the HR manager about 3 days into it that I thought they were going to ask us to dress in purple shrouds and drink the "Kool-Aid" next. He looked at me and laughed.

I think he already drank the Kool-aid.

So after a long weekend hiding recup-ing and getting caught up with work, I've decided to begin using words again.

Enjoy, everyone!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FhZCLGM8v4g

Love,
K

Happy New Year!!

2010-01-02T08:45:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year!!

Since I last posted:

I finished up my husband's Christmas shopping (and would you believe he then patted himself on the back for "finishing up so early this year")
I wrapped everything I could get my hands on
I spent a fabulous Christmas with my family and friends
I celebrated the 8th anniversary of my 29th birthday
I watched 7 movies (most of them were very good!) and read 3 books (all of which were fabulous)
I rang in the New Year with the same family and a few new friends at my side
I actually caught up on my sleep
I'm almost caught up on my housework, except for the laundry (which I'm hoping will magically wash and dry itself; or I might just go buy everyone a new wardrobe).

I've been really blessed over the last year and I'm even more excited for 2010.

I'm not sure if anyone actually ever read my first blog post (if you haven't don't worry about it - it's dumb). I started this blog as a personal diary and now actually have real readers. Who would have thunk?!?! My very first post consisted of my New Years Resolution in 2009 to lose weight. Guess what? It didn't work?!? LOL!

I still thought I'd share what I want to focus on in 2010.

1. Don't Say "Don't" or "But". Oddly enough, I learned this from a consultant we use at work who happens to be an Improvisational Acting coach. We bring her in to teach our newly promoted organizational leaders how to get the best from their employees. One of the games she plays with them is called "Yes, And?". A lot of times someone will say something (that I'm sure they feel is very important) and we immediately say "But...." and shut down their idea. By simply changing up the language a bit and saying "Yes" (meaning - Yes, I hear you) "And" (meaning - And, let me build on your idea).

My son happens to be a bit sensitive, and I honestly believe that being positive around him and using positive language as much as possible with him, will help build him up.

2. Put a cap on my work day. I LOVE what i do! 110% absolutely LOVE what I do. That being said, I take my work home with me. I don't always sit down at the kitchen table and drag my laptop out, but I will ALWAYS check my blackberry in the evenings, and still work through issues in my head. Net, I'm not always 100% physically and emotionally there for my family in the evenings like I need to be.

For about a year, I only carried the blackberry that was given to me by work. I figured they paid for everything, and I didn't need an extra cell phone line. I became addicted! So, I bought an iphone as my personal cell phone. I now can keep my blackberry gently tucked away and still be reachable by those who need me. I resolve to be more available for my family this year.

3. Focus on 5 personal "roles". If you sit down and think about it, we wear soooo many "hats" and sometimes they just don't all fit on our heads - Mom, Coach, Wife, Employee, Christian, Daughter, Teacher, Sister, Aunt, Grandmother, Volunteer, Advocate, etc. The list is exhausting!

I listened to a speech given by one of the Presidents at my company recently on Work/Life balance. Among his top 10 tips (this one really stood out at me) He said to pick 5 roles that you're going to be really good at and truly focus on them. You can still do the others, but commit to being truly great at the 5.

My top 5 roles?
1. Christian - My Precious Heavenly Father is ALWAYS first!
2. Wife - I married him for a reason!
3. Mom - What more joy is there in the world, than being a mom?
4. Daugher - My mother will need my support this year and I'm going to focus on her!
5. Employee - I still love what i do!

Do you make New Years resolutions? What's yours?

Love,
K

Merry Christmas Prank

2009-12-16T08:24:00.000-08:00

You've heard me talk about my Aunt Fees before. She was my mom's baby sister who passed away from Breast Cancer in November of 2006. She was a really cool aunt. Both my sister and I always knew that we could talk to her about anything that was on our minds.

One year on Black Friday, we were shopping for Christmas presents together. I watched her give a few dollars to the Salvation Army bell ringer. I didn't know what I thought about the bell ringers, but I had never considered giving any more than a few coins before. We went to the next store and I watched her do the same thing. She gave a few more dollars to him. And the same thing at the next store. And so on.

I asker her why she gave more money when she already gave to the others. She told me something that made me really sit back and reconsider lots of things.

She told me that there were a few Christmas's when she was little, that the Salvation Army provided the only gifts that they received those years. Huh?

My grandma is awesome and spirited and hard working. She raised 5 kids as a single mother in the 40's and 50's. Her husband committed suicide when she was pregnant with her 5th child (all under 10). She didn't have a drivers license (she still doesn't today), she never remarried (who needs men, anyway, she always says), and she worked part time cleaning houses.

I don't know if what my aunt said is true or not, I've never asked my mom about it. I'm not sure if my mom actually reads my blog, if so, maybe she'll tell me.

It really doesn't matter. To this day, I haven't been able to walk past a bell ringer and not give a donation either.

I've shared links to Improveverywhere before (if you have time, check out the Best Little League Game Everywhere). Their latest "prank" was to surprise a Salvation Army bell ringer.

Watch the video below and enjoy.

http://improveverywhere.com/2009/12/14/guerrilla-handbell-strikeforce/

I will probably not have time to post again until after the holidays.

Merry Christmas!
Love,
K

Weird Animals...

2009-12-10T15:58:00.000-08:00

I've posted before about my cat, Oliver, and dog, Yoyo. They're generally pretty cool animals. Something's going on though and I don't know what to do about it.

Here's a quick primer:

This is my cat, Oliver. He's 4 years old and a bit on the "big boned/fluffy/hefty/fat" side. I found him under a dumpster at the local grocery store. He's not a normal cat. He doesn't like to play with toys, catch mice, or even meow. He lays around, pouts, and demands things - mostly food.

He measures up to be about 13 inches tall and 13 pounds.

Here is his normal look. I'm pretty sure he's mad at the world because he's got this piece of paper stuck on his nose.

Here's my dog, Yoyo. She's super cool. She's also a rescue animal. We got her from the local Labrador rescue mission. It turns out that she's not really a lab, she's more of a Heinz 57 Varieties. She LOVES to swim (that's the lab) and jump. She's fabulous with kids and would prefer to be a lap dog.

She measures up to be 36 inches tall and 88 HEAVY pounds.

Yoyo has a bean bag that she loves to sleep in. She "took" this bean bag from my son one day, and we decided to let her keep it. She doesn't really fit, but don't forget that she thinks she's a 10 pound lap dog, so it doesn't really matter to her.

Then one day I came up the stairs and found this.

And from that day on, my cat has been the "alpha dog" in the house. I don't know what he said to Yoyo, but she does absolutely anything he tells her to do.

Point in case, I just had to physically push my 88 pound dog up a flight of stairs because the 13 pound cat was sitting at the top of it double-dog daring (pun intended) her to try to come upstairs.

I broke a sweat.

Seriously, Yoyo. That cat can't hurt you. He doesn't have claws! You are 6 times his size and can take all 9 of his lives at one time. What gives?

Love,

Mommy

(K)

Life is Funny...You know you're in Kentucky when...

2009-12-07T07:06:00.000-08:00

It's Monday again! That means it's time for Wendy's Life is Funny carnival over at weightwhat! I was just going to read everyone else's funnies since I didn't have anything to share, and then this happened.

So I got up this morning - just like normal.

And I woke my son up for school - just like normal.

And we got ready - just like normal.

And we drove to school - I'd like to say just like normal, but we had a dusting of snow, so it took over an hour to get to his school that is 15 minutes away. But let's just play along and say - just like normal.

I gave him a kiss and dropped him off - just like normal.

And then I was on my way back home - just like normal.

I was talking to my girlfriend, Tami (my Relay for Life buddy), and then just went completely speechless. I told her that she was never going to believe what I was seeing. She told me that I needed to get off the phone and take a picture of it.

So I did.

To share with you.

Believe me, people - this was not - just like normal.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present you with the official Christmas hood ornament of Kentucky...a rare breed of deer with a peculiar ability to light up...generally only seen around Christmas time...you can find it for $49.99 at your local Home Depot...usually seen on the front lawns of your neighbors.

Just to give you a closer look. (I did take this with my iphone, so it's a bit blurry.)

And you're welcome.

Love, K

Turkey "Parts"

2009-11-30T01:55:00.000-08:00

Happy Belated Thanksgiving everyone!

It's Monday and that means that I've been sitting on something that happened last Tuesday, but since I wasn't sure that anyone would read my blog over the weekend, I decided to wait until Monday to post it to Wendy's Life is Funny carnival. If you have something funny, or just want to read things funny, you should visit her. She is pretty funny, too. This is my favorite random post of hers, if you have a few minutes. I also like Square Chickens too, for some reason.

So, the day before Thanksgiving, my son and I went over to my mom and dad's house to brine our Thanksgiving turkeys. He's 8 now, and he's been asking lots of questions when I cook, so I decided to have him help me clean the turkeys and get them ready to go in the brine. We were rinsing the first one off and I reached inside the bird, and pulled out the bag of "innards". I showed him what was in the bag (he was quite taken by the assortment of random bird organs).

Then I flipped the bird over.

I said "Hey, Buddy, watch this."

And then I proceeded to scar the kid for life.

I reached in to the turkey's back end and pulled out the neck.

My son's eyes bulged out of his head like cartoon eyes. And then he started laughing uncontrollably...In an 8 year old potty humor sort of way.

Then it hit me.

"Hey, Buddy, this isn't what you think it is."

"It's the neck, Bud. The neck."

Then he says....."OOOOHHHHHHHH!!!"

I've been cooking turkey my entire adult life and the thought never occured to me that you pull this phallic looking thing out of the bird's behind before you cook it.

I apologize in advance for this picture.

He does have a point, though, if you look at it.

Happy Belated Thanksgiving, everyone!

It was the neck. The neck!

Love,
K

The Continuing Saga of the "Loaner" Cars...

2009-11-19T05:38:00.001-08:00

Some of you may remember this. About 4 months ago, someone hit my precious Honda in the parking garage at work and caused considerable damage to my baby. The other guy's insurance company graciously offered to cover all of my expenses. I thought they were the greatest insurance company in the world...until they gave me the world's ugliest loaner car (a fire engine red Chevrolet HHR with dark tinted windows). We not-so-lovingly referred to it in our family, as the mob loaner car.

My husband made fun of the car and even refused to ride in it. Well, honey, karma's a bitch!

About 6 weeks ago, he was in a pretty bad car accident where he hit a wheel laying in the middle of the interstate while he was going 65 mph. It was so bad that they had to shut down the interstate while they cleaned up all of the carnage. (Just for the record, my husband was not hurt other than a few bumps and bruises. He's completely fine now.)

Believe it or not, the truck was not totalled, although it cost almost $11,000 AND AN ENTIRE MONTH to fix it. During this time, I mostly drove my mom's car when she didn't need it. We finally got it back about a week and a half ago, and would you believe it shook to high heaven every time he got above 45 mph! Around our neck of the woods, 45 mph doesn't get you anywhere anytime soon!

Before we sent it back to the dealer (on the recommendation of our insurance company), we asked an auto-body friend from church (who we should have taken the truck to in the first place) to look it over and give us a list of anything that needed to be fixed.

This past Monday, hubs took the truck and the "list" back to the shop. I told him I needed my car all week and that I thought the shop should give us a complementary rental car.

They did.

Dearest honey. Remember that time you laughed and mocked my mob loaner car?

Pay Backs!

Ladies and Gentlemen (if there are any who read my blog), I introduce you to the Nissan Versa. What is that, you say? Yeah. My point exactly.

Now picture my 6 foot manly man of a husband in his "baby" loaner car. It may not look like it in this picture, but I promise you this entire car is no bigger than my dad's lazy boy chair. BWAHAHAHAH!!AHAHAHAH!!HAHAHAH

Love,
K

Nice Day for a Swim...

2009-11-14T14:13:00.000-08:00

Today was such a beatiful day, so we decided to take the dogs for a swim at one of the local parks.

Normal people take their dogs for walks at the park. However, if there is water anywhere, these two mangy hounds are in it. As soon as we let them off the leashes, they were over the hill and in the water.

The black one, Yoyo, loves to have sticks thrown for her.

She's a faster swimmer than Bear (the golden), so she beat him to the stick every single time.

Coming out for more sticks...

Bear was close to the stick this time, but Yoyo gave him a "what for".

Look how he sits there and listens to her! Although, it kind of looks like he thinks she's a bit crazy too. I think my husband has looked at me like that a few times...hmmmm.

Bear decides to wander off a bit (out of harm's way). Look at the way the sun is reflecting on the water. Would you believe this was only a little after 1:00 in the afternoon?

After about 30 minutes of stick throwing and swimming around, Yoyo got tired and went and laid down in the leaves. Bear, on the other hand, decided to sit in the middle of the lake.

Yes. He's really just sitting there.

We're not sure why, but he pretty much sat there the entire rest of the time we were there.

Weird dog!

Since my fat cat is a jealous fat cat, I thought I'd leave you with a picture of how he spent his day...fat cat curled up on top of my blanket basket.

I hope you have a great and relaxing weekend!

Love,

I Love Fall

2009-11-11T11:53:00.000-08:00

Seriously, I do.
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And yes, I realize that leaves are dying and the weather is going to get cold.

To me, fall means the holidays are coming (and I'm still a kid and look forward to Thanksgiving, Christmas, and my Birthday - every year). Fall means the weather is getting colder (which is an absolute fabulous excuse to curl up with someone you love, a warm blanket, or a good book (or all of the above)).
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Here are some other things about fall that I love...

1. I love that my puppy will push the leaves into a pile so she can take an afternoon nap. Look how worn out she looks!

2. I love that my lazy fat cat will sit in the window for hours watching the leaves fall. Look at the gorgeous orange tree in the background. LOVE IT!

3. I love going pumpkin and apple picking with my family.

4. I love that little boys think they can do anything...like pulling a heavy pumpkin through a muddy field...uphill...

5. I love that little boys are not above admitting that they are tired and need a bit of help.

6. I love that big boys still love toys too. (Just for the record, I also love that my husband doesn't seem to mind too much that I blog about him.)

7. I love getting dressed up and visiting with our friends from around the community.

8. I love the CUTE Halloween costumes...take Hansel and Gretel here, for example...

"Do you want some bread?"

"I'm done here."

"As in, really done here."

Daddy to the rescue...

Big C (a friendly pirate - with a sword) steps in to

help keep the little ones in place for a cute photo.

Finally.

9. I leave you with this. Aren't they precious?

And yes, before you ask, all of the photos were taken with my iphone (don't tell my digital camera that's now been collecting dust).

Talk to you soon!

Love, K

Boys...

2009-10-30T07:09:00.000-07:00

Look at my little history bookworm...

A few weeks ago we went to Mays Lick in Kentucky. Every few weeks we try to take a family one tank trip somewhere. Mays Lick is the site of the last Revolutionary War battle in Kentucky. It was quite a blood bath. It's also about an hour from our home.

C had just finished reading a book on the Revolutionary War, so we decided to come and check it out. I took this picture with my iphone and LOVE it!

The picture reminds me of when we went to Hawaii and Pearl Harbor. Almost exactly 7 years to the day!

He still has those huge ears :).

So the other day I took C to get a costume for Halloween. I'd love to be one of those people that can pull the perfect costume out of my spare closet. But, I'm not. So we went to Halloween Express.

C hates to make decisions. So I told him he had only 10 minutes and if he couldn't make up his mind that I was going to choose the costume myself. We walked in and I secretly groaned. Rows and rows of costumes, people! Most of them disgusting scary stuff that I wouldn't ever let him wear, but it was there to confuse his decision making process!

He walked up and down each of the aisles and the looked at me and said...

"Mom, I've made a decision."

After I picked myself back up off the floor (we had been there less than 5 minutes), he announced...

"Mom, I'm going to be a pirate."

I told him that I thought that was a great choice (even though he's never shown any interest in Pirates of the Caribbean or anything else remotely pirate-ish). We paid for our "bounty" (I even had a coupon - Aunt Sharon is proud of me) and we left.

We got in the car and I asked him why he chose the pirate. He looked at me and said...

"Gosh Mom, it's got a sword, of course."

Of course! Silly mom.

Love, K

Some Explaining...

2009-10-23T06:33:00.000-07:00

Hello Everyone -

I've been missing and I don't really know how to explain myself. I haven't posted in a little over a month. Some of you know what's been going on in my life, but most of you don't.

I was hoping to have a fun, witty way to explain myself because I didn't want to put up an "oh woe is me" post. The reality is? I've even been missing from Twitter too! I mean, you know your life is a bit confusing when you don't even tweet!

So, here is a long story, well...long...

First off, I am very active in my son's school. I am the President Elect of the PTO and was also in charge of the school's only major fundraiser of the year, our Fall Festival - aka the Hullabaloo. I was a little nervous at first to take this on, but I got to work with some of the most amazing women! We were an eclectic little group, but we put on a kick-butt festival!

For the first night, we decided to switch things up from previous years and have a pep rally to cheer our football team on! (Ft Thomas seriously loves their football, people). We invited the Cincinnati Bengals (would you believe 13 of them showed up) to sign autographs for our folks!!!! We had an DJ, dancing, and great food. In only 2 hours, we made a lot of money.

On Saturday, we returned to our traditional Fall Festival. It was the school's 30th Anniversary of this fun fund-raiser, so we went retro! Brought back some great stuff from year's past! All in all, we made about $5000 more than the PTO even hoped we would. It was a success!!

Warning, the story will take a turn here...

Unfortunately during all of this craziness, I lost my Uncle Denny (my mom's brother).

I really really struggled with this (and I can't believe I'm putting this in writing), but our actions have consequences....dire consequences. When your doctor tells you to stop smoking, lose some weight, stop drinking, get up off the couch....DO IT! For years, my uncle laughed at the doctors. The doctors said he would die early. And he did. I struggle to find it in my heart to forgive him. I really hate what he's done to my mother, my aunt, and my precious grandmother (who had already said goodbye to two of her children). I will get over this. Please don't judge me. Sometimes our families are the hardest people to love.

Also during all of this, my mom's cancer has returned. She has survived Breast Cancer twice now. Once in her early 40's and once about 5 years ago. The second time she had a double mastectomy. She has had many complications since then and many surgeries to fix these complications, but she was always my feisty, opinionated, beautiful mom.

The Breast Cancer has returned. Kind of questions your paradigms, huh? I always thought that with my family history, that at the first sign of breast cancer I will have a double mastectomy. Apparently, it's rare that cancer comes back after this surgery, but definitely not unheard of.

This time my mom is going through chemo. It's not the traditional harsh chemicals, but a hormone-based chemo. We were hoping for not a lot of side effects, however she's been quite sick to her stomach, very very sleepy, and now has a sinus/chest infection. I've been cooking for her and helping her with her exercises, and want nothing more than to have her healthy once more.

Her prognosis is good. Please pray for her.

She doesn't like to have her picture taken, and she'd get upset with me if I posted a less than attractive picture of her (trust me though, she's beautiful...and i'm not saying that because I look just like her). Here is my son honoring his Grandma as a Cancer Survivor at this past year's Relay for Life. I know that he will be doing the same thing next year.

Thanks for your time, I know this was long!

Love,
K

As Seen on TV...

2009-09-09T10:13:00.000-07:00

I have been working with a new IT consultant at work. Of course, I wouldn't be me, if I didn't chat her up and get to know her a bit ;-)!
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One day we were chatting over lunch and we were talking about our favorite places to shop. She mentioned that she and her husband had a bad habit of buying things off of television infomercials. I asked if they go to the outlet stores, but she swears they buy them right off of television.

UPDATE: She now swears that you can buy all of this stuff at Bed, Bath, and Beyond. She doesn't want you to think she's weird and spends too much on shipping costs.
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Have you guys seen the Bender Ball? If you ask me, it looks painful! Either way, she says it doesn't work.

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And here's the Topsy Turvy Tomato planter. Apparently you buy this contraption for $10, but you have to pay extra for the soil and the tomato plant (I think it should come with it, but whatever). Then you hang it upside down on your patio. The whole idea is that it hangs upside down and the squirrels and deer can't get to your plants. Unless your my friend and you had to buy something to hang the planter from and your squirrels jump.

UPDATE: She says that there are only 5 green tomatoes on the plant and she doesn't think they are ever going to turn green.

Just for the record, Sham-wow's don't work like the commercials and she's not a fan of the "Tater Mitts"!

So, I started thinking back to if I had ever bought anything from an infomercial. Before I had cable, I sat through many a Ron Popeil (remember him?) infomercial. My favorite was the spray on toupee. My hair is actually thick and curly, so I didn't buy this.

But I did buy the food dehydrator!!!! I still have this beauty, even though I only use it these days to dry my herbs in the fall.
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And then I had a flashback. I saw this on television and I HAD TO HAVE IT!!! It was only $79.99, people!?!?!
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Doesn't it look like fun? I was convinced I was going to drop 50 pounds!

You slip on these cute little booties over your gym shoes and it's like speed skating. You push from one side to the next. Like a graceful gazelle!

Or, you get on it and you push to one side. The dog starts going crazy because she secretly knows your nuts and are going to break every bone in your leg. So, you go to lock her out of the room, but you forget to take off the cute little booties. Instead, you slide across the hard wood floors and hit your head on the corner of the door. You get the dog locked out of the room, you take the darn booties off, and you make sure your head isn't bleeding. You hear your dad in your head saying "buck up, soldier!" So you put the stupid booties back on and jump right back on. After all, this has to be like riding a bike. Heck, it's definitely safer than riding your bike.

So, you assume the position. And...

your foot, not so gracefully, smashes into the other side of this stupid contraption and you hear your ankle pop! After a trip to the emergency room, you're assured that this is a minor sprain (even though your ankle is 3 times the size and a lovely shade of purple and green).

Yeah, so I never got on the thing again.

Has anyone else had any "gotta have 'em" buys?!?!?!

Love, K

Prayer Requests...

2009-09-02T09:48:00.000-07:00

I've never done this before, but I could really use your prayers right now. I have a lot going on with my family and I would really appreciate you lifting them up in prayer.

Please let me know how I can pray for you.

Love, K

Welcome to the World...

2009-09-01T12:17:00.000-07:00

Aiden Samuel

Born August 31, 2009 4:10 pm

8 lbs 24 inches

Welcome to the world, little one. You are finally here, created of love and wonder; your arrival joyously anticipated! How eager to begin this journey called life!

Some of life's lessons will not be easily learned, lessons such as there is more joy in giving than in receiving. Remember, possessions are meant to enhance life, not to become the focus of it.

Learn to be generous of spirit. Love unconditionally and trust that those you love will love you in return. Let dignity, faith and strength be your constant companions.

Expect to stumble and fall occasionally, in all manner of things, for such is learning. There is no shame in this, only in failing to pull yourself up again.

It is such a wonderful world! Walk it in wonder. Get the most from each hour, each day, each age of your life.

Time will teach you that some of the most beautiful things in life are things never actually seen by man...things like faith, forgiveness and inspiration. These things we see with our hearts.

From this day forward others will surround you to guide, help, and protect you; both learning and teaching, listening and speaking, leading and following.

May they be gentle in dealing with you, holding your hand as tenderly as you are held in the hand of God.

One day, all too soon it will seem, you will have become the teacher instead of the student.

Welcome to the world, Aiden.

Love, K

Good News! I'm Normal!

2009-08-27T06:51:00.001-07:00

Psychologists have discovered that the manner in which people eat Oreo cookies provides great insight into their personalities.

Choose which method best describes your favorite method of eating Oreos:

1. The whole thing all at once.

2. One bite at a time

3. Slow and methodical nibbles examining the results of each bite afterwards.

4. In little feverous nibbles.

5. Dunked in some liquid (milk, coffee...).

6. Twisted apart, the inside, then the cookie.

7. Twisted apart, the inside, and toss the cookie.

8. Just the cookie, not the inside.

9. I just like to lick them, not eat them.

10.I don't have a favorite way because I don't like Oreos.

Your Personality:

1. The whole thing:This means you consume life with abandon, you are fun to be with, exciting, carefree with some hint of recklessness. You are totally irresponsible. No one should trust you with his or her children.

2. One bite at a time:You are lucky to be one of the 5.4 billion other people who eat their Oreos this very same way. Just like them, you lack imagination, but that's okay, not to worry, you're normal.

3. Slow and Methodical:You follow the rules. You're very tidy and orderly. You're very meticulous in every detail with every thing you do to the point of being anal retentive and irritating to others. Stay out of the fast lane if you're only going to go the speed limit.

4. Feverous Nibbles:Your boss likes you because you get your work done quickly. You always have a million things to do and never enough time to do them. Mental breakdowns and suicides run in your family. Valium and Ritalin would do you good.

5. Dunked:Every one likes you because you are always up beat. You like to sugar coat unpleasant experiences and rationalize bad situations into good ones. You are in total denial about the shambles you call a life. You have a propensity towards narcotic addiction.

6. Twisted apart, the inside, and then the cookie:You have a highly curious nature. You take pleasure in breaking things apart to find out how they work, though not always able to put them back together, so you destroy all the evidence of your activities. You deny your involvement when things go wrong. You are a compulsive liar and exhibit deviant, if not criminal, behavior.

7. Twisted apart, the inside, and then toss the cookie:You are good at business and take risk that pay off. You take what you want and throw the rest away. You are greedy, selfish, mean, and lack feelings for others. You should be ashamed of yourself. But that's ok, you don't care, you got yours.

8. Just the cookie, not the inside:You enjoy pain.

9. I just like to lick them, not eat them:Stay away from small furry animals and seek professional medical help - immediately.

10. I don't have a favorite way, I don't like Oreos:You probably come from a rich family, and like to wear nice things, and go to upscale restaurants. You are particular and fussy about the things you buy, own, and wear. Things have to be just right. You like to be pampered. You are a prissy.

So, how do you like your oreos?

Love, K

Guess What???

2009-08-20T06:06:00.000-07:00

So, I'm getting ready to go here...

And if you don't understand that, then click here, and then here. Heck, I even blogged about it before...but, I digress.

Needless to say, I want to be here...

Aren't they cute? That's my dad and son.

And then, of course, I don't tend to go many places on the weekend with out my faithful sidekick, Yolanda (I didn't name her).

Isn't she a bathing beauty? She LOVES the water. You have to keep an eye on her when we stop, because she's been known to do this...

OK - off to work!

See you soon!

Love, K

She's a Star!!!

2009-08-13T10:53:00.000-07:00

It's been stated here in the past that I'm from the Cincinnati area.

It's been stated here in the past that I have the most beautiful niece ever.

It's been stated here in the past that I am a HUGE Indianapolis Colts fan (sorry Bengals).

It's not been stated here in the past, but it is in my dreams, that I will someday marry Peyton Manning. Yes - my husband knows this, and he accepts this fact (fantasy).

Isn't he just dreamy?!?!?!?

However....

My sister is a HUGE Bengals fan.

My brother in law is a HUGE Bengals fan.

My sister and brother in law announced their pregnancy, by presenting each of us with a different Baby Bengals onesie.

As a side note, you should see my mom's jersey onesie. She had TJ Houshmandzada on a 3-6 month old baby onesie. The name was in like size 9 font!

Sorry. Moving on...

Even if I'm not a fan of the Bengals (or especially Chad Johnson/Ochocinco), I do think it's super cool that he only gave only one autograph at training camp on Monday.

Isn't she cute?!?!?! Notice the jersey...

Just for the record, he was very nice and I should probably take all the mean things back that I've said about him in the past.

Ehh - we'll see ;).

That's all for now!

Love, K

My New Dishwasher...

2009-08-05T10:31:00.000-07:00

Anyone that's anyone knows that I am in the middle of the never ending kitchen renovation from hell.

Well, we are actually making some progress. Of course, I may run out of blog material when this is finally finished. Maybe I'll move on to the outside? Ehhh...probably not!

This weekend we hung 2/3 of our cabinets, brought the plumbing up through the floor and bought a dishwasher.

Isn't she pretty? (It is a she, by the way)

No sooner had we put the dishwasher in place and my son pounced on the box.
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Before I knew it, he had a door and windows cut into the box, a welcome sign, and "indoor" lighting (a la two flashlights that he hung from the ceiling). He played in the box all afternoon.

And he ate dinner in the box.

I'm pleased to say that he didn't actually sleep in the box. Only because he fell asleep and I carried him to his bed, although I'm sure he'd rather be in the box.

The next day, was a pretty lazy day. After church, we came back home and relaxed. I happened to look over at the box and saw this site...

Apparently, he locked himself out of the box (now known as "Fort C" - you can see the added decorations). By now, he has added his plastic handcuffs to the inside of the box door to keep intruders out. Don't ask me how he did this, but for some reason, he needed to go through the window of the box.

(Note: I apologize for the grainy picture, because #1) I'm from Kentucky and we tend to say please and sorry a whole lot; #2) the light was off in this room; and #3) I took this picture with my iphone)

Later on that evening, I came into the room to see even more of the family enjoying the box/Fort C.

I know people talk all the time about how fun the box is, but now I'm a believer!

That's all for now!

Love, K

An Ode to my Honda...

2009-08-03T08:29:00.000-07:00

So, I was sort of thinking that I would join the Fellowship of the Travelling Smarty Pants for their Twitter Ho-down. I've always wanted to join the Ho-down, but these people put me to shame! My piddly 6 or so Tweets a day, just doesn't hang with them!

Besides, it's now Monday. So, here now is my Life is Funny carnival entry, supplemented by a few of my tweets! If you want to join, you can find the rules over at Wendy's blog.

I seriously love my car. It's a very cute 2006 metallic moss Honda CRV (read TOTAL mom-mobile). I've never been one to get too wrapped up into the whole car thing, but she definitely stole my heart.

It all started back in October, 2005. My fiance bought the car and showed up to take us for a ride. While we were all driving around, he showed us all of the features - back seat cup holders (for my 4 year old), 4 wheel drive (for all the ice we get in Kentucky), and surround air bags (to protect his future family). Wasn't that last part sweet of him?

Then, he ended up hurting himself and could no longer fit into the car. You see, he was in a hip to ankle cast and couldn't bend. I have wedding pictures to prove this! The CRV sat up too high (what a pity). He ended up driving around in my 2001 Impala for the next few months until I bought him a new truck. And to be clear, I bought him a truck so I could keep the Honda :)!

All was well. Then this happened!

Someone hit me in our garage at work. This is only my second car accident in 36 years, and I wasn't happy about it! The good news, was that the other guys insurance offered to pay for everything (including the loaner car, while my precious was getting fixed). I love Amica, by the way (and they aren't even my insurance company). I figured since it was on private property, we would each have to pay for our own vehicles, but hey...who am I to argue?

Sadly, I must have done some very bad things in my previous life. Because this was my rental car...

Day 1:

It was useful in the sense that it got me to and from work, but otherwise not feeling the whole "cool" thing. Yeah, um, no!

It's official! I have the ugliest loaner car on record....a cherry red Chevrolet HHR. I'm channeling my inner mob gangster.

Man! This car is seriously ugly! I even tried to make my husband drive it, and he wouldn't go for it. But my 8 year old thinks it's cool (in a Hot Wheels sort of way)!

And for my next trick, I will drive my mob car through the posh streets of Ft Thomas! #beingpunishedforpasttransgressions

For those of you unfamiliar with the Northern Kentucky/Cincinnati area, just think of Ft Thomas as the O.C./Beverly Hills of the area. UGH! This is where my son goes to school and I am the President of the PTO and chairman of the Hullabaloo (the big fundraiser for the year). I do all of this in my spare time ;).

HELP!!!!! I'm in my mob loaner car at the gas station and can't figure our how to get the gas tank open! #beingpunishedforpasttransgressions

So, on my way home, I needed to get gas. At least I thought ahead at my last stop to check what side the gas tank was on. Then I did what every normal person would do.

#1) Sit in your car and try to look cool while you're looking all over for the tank button.

#2) Call your dad

#3) Tweet about it. Cuz you never know who might be following right then!

#4) Google it on your iphone

#5) Call your mom, who then tells you to look it up in the user manual

#6) look it up in the user manual. Thanks mom!

If anyone cares, I’m home. App there isn't anything special to opening the gas tank hatch on mob loaner cars. You just push. Go figure?!?

Day 2:

Taking my mob loaner car to work to get laughed at... #beingpunishedforpasttransgressions

It just somehow did not fit in (so sad...so sad). Let's all take a minute to take in the "red-ness" of this car. It's apparently called "Victory Red". I think it should be called "You can see me coming from 5 miles Red".

I'm taking my ugly mob loaner car home for the night! #beingpunishedforpasttransgressions

Day 3:

GOOD NEWS! My Honda is ready to be picked up! BAD NEWS! Enterprise closed at 5:00. AWFUL NEWS! Mob loaner car is going home one more time!

So, when I talked to Enterprise about this unfortunate turn of events. They first told me that since the other guy's insurance was paying for it, I should keep the car as long as I wanted. Once I pointed out that I wasn't too fond of that plan. The nice man on the phone proceeded to laugh non-stop something like "Dude, you even got the red one...yeah, man that sucks". Thanks, Mr. Enterprise, that makes me feel better.

People are staring at me!!! #beingpunishedforpasttransgressions

Day 4:

On my drive in today, another Chev HHR pulled up to my ugly mob loaner car and waved. People really buy these and choose to ride in them?!?

2 Hours and some change until I can take the ugly mob loaner car back where it belongs! #nearlyfinishedbeingpunishedforpasttransgressions

I actually got "Congrats" tweets from @weightwhat and @helenatrandom at this point. I'd like to think because they were so happy for me. But it was probably because they were so ready for me to shutup about the car!

So guess what time it is?! It's time to take the ugly mob loaner car back:)! Woohoo! #nearlyfinishedbeingpunishedforpasttransgressions

Bye bye, ugly mob loaner car!!! Sayonara!! See ya!! Ciao!! I think it misses me already!

Hello, love of my life. How I've missed you! I love your pretty new bumper sans-bugs! You (and red swedish fish) complete me!

That's all for now!

Love, K

Talented...

2009-07-30T13:24:00.000-07:00

So, I've already introduced you all to my pleasantly plump cat, Oliver.

Hi Oliver!

Disclaimer Again: He was really sitting like that, and he's not really that fat, although he is pretty chunky. This picture makes him look like a porker. So, don't call the SPCA on me.

I've told stories before of Oliver's water obsession. Case in point, here he is jumping in to my bubble bath.

Someone sent me this video today, and I practically broke a rib laughing. Let's just say I'm thrilled that Oliver doesn't have this obsession :)!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WofFb_eOxxA

Enjoy!

Love,

A Bad Day at Work...

2009-07-30T10:25:00.000-07:00

I don't know if this is true or not. Either way, I hope your day is better than Rob's!

Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs.

Below is an e-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2 FM in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won:

_________

Hi Sue,

Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all .

Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit.

This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment that sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.

Now, this all sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I do when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's fantastic...it's like working in a Jacuzzi.

Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This, of course, only made things worse. Within a few seconds my bottom started to feel a burning sensation. I pulled the hose out from my back, thinking that maybe the water was too hot, but the damage was done. In agony, I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it directly into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, so the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate.

When I had scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish, and all of its poisonous, stinging tentacles, into the crack of my bottom. I immediately informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say, I aborted the dive.

I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.

As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my bottom was swollen shut.

The next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your bottom. Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job." Now whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day?

Rob

__________

May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day!

Love, K

Life is Funny (or insane...one of the two)!

2009-07-27T12:33:00.000-07:00

It's Monday and it's time for Wendy's Life is Funny carnival. I always try to think (really carefully, and sometimes too hard) about what I want to post....but then, this morning happened. I think this story is so ridiculous, it counts as funny.

By the way, I can't say I never complain about my hubs, because that would be a flat out lie. Again for the normal yada-yada disclaimer. Honey, I love you very much, although sometimes I just need to tell stories about you. Because that's what makes you, you.

Last night, my husband announced that he was going to take a vacation day this morning. Honestly, I never know when he's messing with me. He knows I work from home on Mondays and like to be by myself. I figured he was just messing with me.

He got out of bed at his normal hour (4:00 am). Don't ask why he gets up that early, because I don't know. What I do know, is that he goes to bed by 7:30 - 8:00 and I get to watch whatever kind of television I want. Trust me when I say we have very different TV-viewing habits!

A little before 6:00 he came into the bedroom and told me that he was going to run some errands (go to the hardware store, the paint store, get breakfast, whatever). I just stared at him, because I was half asleep and I honestly don't believe I even responded.

I got up at 6:30 and started to work. I always like to check my email while I'm making my morning tea and get that out of the way. I left the house a little before 8:00 this morning because I needed to drop my car off at the collision center and pick up my rental car for the next however many days.

I called my husband to tell him what I was up to, since I had a vague dream that he might have said something to me earlier. I called and left a voicemail for him on his cell phone since he didn't answer. I assumed he had gone to work and was just messing with me. So, I locked up the house and went on my merry way.

I took the car to the collision center and had to walk across the street to the rental car place. I waited in a nice long line for a Monday morning and as soon as I got up to the counter, I glanced at my blackberry (for work) and saw that I had 3 missed phone calls and a text message. At the same time, I heard my iphone (for personal) beep with a text. I read the messages and had to laugh out loud.

He was locked out of the house.

And for some reason, this was my issue.

Fact: He has told me before that he was going to take a vacation day, but ended up going to work.

Fact: He admitted that he heard his cell phone ring, but didn't answer it because he was talking to some guy from church while in the paint store.

Fact: He had the nerve to ask me, why I had not answered my phones when they rang (answer, they were on silent and I didn't hear, and the fact that I was dealing with Honda might have had something to do with it).

Fact: Normal people bring their house keys with them when they leave the house.

Fact: He's apparently not normal.

Fact: I had to take a dirty rental car, so I could come home and bail my husband out.

Fact: This is so ridiculous that somehow it's funny (although it didn't seem funny to me this morning).

Fact: He took me out for a nice lunch to thank me for coming home quickly.

Fact: He looked at me at lunch and said, "You're going to blog about this, aren't you?"

Fact: Yes. Life is funny :)

That's all for now.

Love, K

Loss of a Dear Friend...

2009-07-23T10:20:00.000-07:00

Some of you have asked if I was ok this week. I lost a dear friend on Sunday morning and have been not really myself.

Kenny was special.

I've never met anyone before who has had such zest for life. He was always happy to see everyone and exuded complete joy.

He was a brilliant musician. Every time I would see him, he would sing a goofy song from a Cheers episode (that I never actually saw). It's the one where Woody writes a song for his girlfriend, Kelly. It's a pretty silly song. The words go something like...Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly...get the point?

Lastly, I've never seen anyone so in love with his wife before. Kenny was married for over 30 years, but he was more and more in love with his beautiful bride every time he saw her. I always told Kenny and his wife that I wanted to have a marriage just like theirs. They told me the secret was that God was the center of their marriage. What a testimony!

I leave you with a tribute that my Aunt wrote to our friend. Please visit her blog and tell her hi from me :)!

A Visit With Grammy

Love to all!
K

Life is Funny!

2009-07-20T07:30:00.001-07:00

It's Monday and time for Wendy's Life is Funny carnival. I've been needing a bit of lightheartedness, so I've been waiting all weekend for the fun to start.

My husband sent me these first two funnies and I've been saving them just for you :). Enjoy! Just for the record, I'm Baptist, so you can't yell at me.

Show and Tell
A kindergarten teacher gave her class a "show and tell" assignment of bringing something to represent their religion.
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The first little boy got up in class and said "Hi. My name is Benjamin and I'm Jewish. This is the Star of David."
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The second little girl got up in class and said "Hi. My name is Mary and I'm Catholic. This is the cross."
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The third little boy got up in class and said "Hi. My name is Tommy and I'm Baptist. This is a casserole."

Church Gossip
Mildred, the church gossip and self-appointed arbiter of the church's morals, kept sticking her nose in the other members' private lives. Church members were unappreciative of her activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence. She made a mistake, however, when she accused George, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his pickup truck parked in front of the town's only bar one afternoon.

She commented to George and others that everyone seeing it there would know what he was doing.

George, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just walked away. He didn't explain, defend, or deny; he said nothing.

Later that evening, George quietly parked his pickup in front of Mildred's house... and left it there all night!

Potty Talk - Kelli-style
Reading Wendy's post today reminded me of one time when my son was 2. He was old enough to have impeccable speech, but young enough to still be in diapers. We were out to dinner with my family in a very nice Asian restaurant. Of course, my son had a dirty diaper and I needed to get it taken care of, pronto!

I swear to you this is the only time this ever happened to me, but I found myself with an empty diaper bag! HORRORS!!! What to do?!?! For a brief moment I considered whether or not the diaper was salvagable. Yeah, no. It wasn't :(.

I finally decided to just stick as many paper towels as I could down his pants and pray that he didn't have to "go" before I could get to the store. These paper towels weren't Bounty paper towels, mind you. These were the brown "crunchy" paper towels that probably cost $2.27 for a 6 month supply and are found in most restaurants. Either way, I didn't have a choice. I stacked up the paper towels and stuffed his little size 2T baby Gap jeans.

And of course, he didn't want me to carry him like a baby. He insisted on walking back to the table. He strutted across the restaurant floor with his little legs as far apart as they would go. He seriously looked like he had been riding a horse for 4 days straight. He got to our table that was in the middle of the restaurant and picked his bum (apparently a paper towel had gotten lodged in his nether-region). He then announced to everyone at the table (very loudly) that he had a "NACKIN UP IN DARE" (aka a "napkin up in there").

At least the people in my immediate vicinity were family and chuckled. The rest of the restaurant just stared at me like they were going to call 241-KIDS on me. Needless to say, we said our goodbyes and high-tailed it to the nearest store.

I started potty training him the next day.

That's all for now.

Love, K

I'm sad...

2009-07-16T13:24:00.001-07:00

I'm sitting at my desk right now crying.

When I got to work this morning, my ex was waiting for me. To be clear, we really don't get along all that great. We talk and tolerate each other because we love our son very very much. I knew something was wrong because he has never done this before. He wanted to put down "our" dog, Magi (pronounced Maggie, but my ex could never spell).

To give you some background, I got married at 22. Other than college, I had never lived away from my parents. On top of that, I was moving to the big crime-ridden city of Cincinnati, from my parents home in Northern Kentucky. If you haven't figured out yet, I have been accused in the past of being dramatic. (Cincinnati is an absolutely lovely city and I enjoyed it the entire time I lived there). My husband at the time worked evenings. I was pretty confident that I was going to be raped or murdered, so I made him go get me a guard dog.

Turns out that this sweet guard dog picked him out at the pound (not the other way around). Magi came home to live with us in March of 1995. She was a sweet 2 month old puppy that our vet called a Heinz 57 dog (meaning 57 varieties of breeds). She had the body of a boxer with the head and coloring of a German Shepard. She had the disposition of a Golden Retriever and the funny herding habits of a Border Collie. Her funniest quirk was that she always had one ear up and one ear down. Noone could explain why, but it was cute. In short, she was an awesome dog.

Magi was 14 now and had stopped eating and was falling down alot. She couldn't get up or down the stairs. The vet had tried talking us out of putting her down about a year ago, but it was time now.

Magi girl, I miss you. But I know you are playing with Charlie and Linsi. I know you're bouncing around like you did when you were a puppy. I know you're not in pain any more. Rest in peace, sweet girl.

Love, K

I've Been Missing...

2009-07-15T06:40:00.000-07:00

So, I guess I have some 'splaining to do. I have been a bad blogger.
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Fact: I had every intention of leaving my last post up for awhile, because it was so important to me.

Fact: I also had every intention of sharing every bit of my stay-cation with you as it unfolded.

Fact: What I didn't plan to happen was to get bronchitis (which I'm still convinced is something more exotic like the bird flu or swine flu).

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Needless to say, I pumped myself with water and antibiotics, and spent the next six days in bed. On day 7, I had decided that I had had enough of the inside of my bedroom and that I wanted to go be sick somewhere else. I called up our favorite resort in Tennessee and they had a cabin in the mountains calling our name!

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Even though it felt like I was breathing knives and jet fuel, I somehow managed to get my dog to the boarder, the cat to my mom's, and enough clothes for a 3 week trip together (although I was only going to be gone for 4 days).

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Thursday morning, we got on the road. We were just south of Lexington, KY when this happened.

Yep - That's my new friend Mike from AAA fixing our flat tire.

I guess I left one small detail out of my story. And that is that my husband is on crutches right now with bad ankles. Don't ask me what's wrong with him, because we don't really know. It's something between Rheumatoid Arthritis and Gout, where his joints will swell up and get really painful. He also tends to get these attacks when it's time for me to go on vacation (which is a whole other blog post). Either way, my husband was not in any shape to fix the flat tire. Thank goodness, we just renewed our AAA membership. Just for the record, AAA responded within 20 minutes and had us back on the road in less than 40 minutes. So, renew your membership today!

Needless to say, we got to our haven. If you ever plan on going to the Gatlinburg/Pigeon Forge area, don't! Stay in the village of Cobbly Nob village. It's about 20 minutes Southeast of Gatlinburg near the North Carolina border. It's close enough to Gatlinburg if you want to get dinner or visit the shops. It's also far enough away, so there isn't the traffic, light, and noise. Cobbly Nob is a secluded mountain cabin village and it's absolutely heavenly.

This was the view that I woke up to each morning. As we were in the Smoky Mountains, the clouds would roll out in the mornings and roll back in come sunset. These tree-covered mountains are simply beautiful and serene.

This is actually the mountain chapel that I got married in. Every time we come back here, my husband and I make sure to stop. It's absolutely gorgeous, quaint, and secluded.

We are both history buffs. We always try to visit historical landmarks, wherever we go. For this trip considering neither of us were 100%, we decided to visit Cade's Cove in the Great Smoky Mountain National Park. Cade's Cove is a stunning isolated valley that was settled in 1819 by John Oliver. The population grew to more than 700 before the government took it over for the park. There is an 11 mile car trail you can drive through to see this gorgeous place. Here is a panoramic view of the valley (courtesy of Wikipedia, considering I only had my iphone with me).

Religion played a huge part in the Cove. Most of the population was Baptist, although there was a small Methodist church we visited as well. Inside one of the primitive Baptist church's I found this bible. When I started flipping through, there were all kinds of handwritten notes of people requesting prayer. There were also notes from others saying that they had prayed for the needs. We added our own prayer request and prayed for the requests in this picture.

The mountain air did me "good". I started to feel much better. We spent the next 2 days doing some light hiking and explorin'. This was one of the gems we came across near Brierwood. We ate lunch here and played on the rocks and splashed in the water like a couple of kids. Doesn't that mountain water look refreshing?

Just to prove I was here, you can see my pretty OPI Pompeii Purple toes in the water :).

I promise to not be such a stranger any more.

Love, K

In Honor of and in Memory of...

2009-06-26T12:52:00.000-07:00

I apologize in advance for how long this post is. However, I ask that if you read any of my posts, you read this one. It would mean a whole lot to me!

For those of you that know me, you know my sweet beautiful mother (MAW as my husband likes to call her) has had breast cancer on and off for the last 25 years. She got sick this last time in December of 2003. She chose to have a double mastectomy and, Praise the Lord, has been healthy since.

During her recovery, we found out that my Aunt Fees (that's not her real name, but it is what I have always called her) also had breast cancer. It was really hard to watch my mom nurse her baby sister to health while they both struggled with the same awful disease.

Fast forward a few years, my mom has improved, however my Aunt still was struggling. One Friday in November 2006, my mom called me to let me know that she had just admitted my Aunt into the hospital. The chemo had made her dehydrated. I wasn't to worry. My mom told me they were going to give her fluids and that I should pray, but not worry.

The very next day (Saturday) I received another phone call. My Aunt was not doing well. The doctors were telling us that my Aunt was in "her final days". Holy heck, how did that just happen!

I visited my Aunt in the hospital on Sunday and we talked and joked around. I secretly hoped the doctors were wrong. She seemed to happy and healthy to me. Either way, I went back home to my family.

On Sunday evenings, we always watch Extreme Makeover: Home Edition together as a family. This particular show focused on a young woman with breast cancer and her relentless support of the American Cancer Society Relay for Life. I considered telling my family that the show wasn't on that night just so I didn't have to watch it. However, when my son came in the room and asked me if we were going to watch "our show" tonight, I smiled and hugged him and told him that "yes, we are".

I was really moved by the show, but didn't really have a lot of time to think about it. The next day (Monday), we moved my Aunt into hospice. She had taken a noticeable turn for the worst, and I wondered if the doctors were right. All afternoon there was a parade of people coming to see her. By the evening, she had stopped talking. She was only blinking and squeezing hands.

I waited until everyone had left and walked into her room. She smiled and told me to come sit down. I realized that she was just choosing not to speak earlier, but that she still could. She told me 3 things:
1) She was very proud of me and everything that I had accomplished.
2) She told me that I was beautiful and that I looked like her (not my mom). This made me laugh out loud :)!
3) She told me that I would make a difference and that I would figure out how to do it.

I kissed her, told her I loved her and went home. By the next morning, she truly was not speaking. I had had my last words with her. My precious Aunt Fees had passed away on Tuesday, November 14, 2006.

I immediately got involved. For the last 3 years, I have walked in the American Cancer Society Relay for Life. For the last 2 years, I've led my own team! For those of you that don't know what the Relay for Life is, it's a 12 - 24 hour event where different teams come together and raise money to fight cancer. The event is usually held at a stadium or other place where each team brings a fund raiser and commits to having a walker on the track at all times. The event usually lasts all night long. It can become uncomfortable. But, you know? Cancer is uncomfortable. I can do this!

Our Campbell County Relay was this past Saturday and Sunday. Here are some of my pictures from the event.

This is my co-leader Tami. She had a new turquoise phone that I kept making fun of because it looked like a teenagers phone. Tami and I actually went to high school together, work at the same place, and go to church together. We've become quite good friends through all of this. She is a fundraiser machine!

This was one of our fundraisers. Each year, we partner up with a company called Little Monkeys. Little Monkeys donates one (or more) of their "bouncy things" to our event. We charged $2 a slide or $8 to be able to slide as much as you want. We kept this thing opened until 2:00 in the morning! Let's just say it was a hit!

As you can see from this picture, it was HOT!!!! Here are 2 of our team-mates cooling off under our team tent.

This is my sweet boy decorating a luminaria bag in honor of his Grandma (MAW). I loved that they let the kids do that this year! Just for the record, he is that wet because of the iced towel around his neck. Although he liked the towel because it made him look all "sweaty and manly". Boys!?!?!

This is Colin behind his luminaria bag right before the ceremony started.

During the luminaria ceremony, the track is lined with all of the lit luminaria bags. The lights are completely dimmed and they read the names over the speakers. It is a very prayerful beautiful ceremony.

Like I said earlier, the relay runs ALL NIGHT LONG! My sweet boy begged me if he could come with me this year and stay all night. I told him as long as he was good, he could stay. At one point he looked at me and told me he was tired. I turned my back on him for 5 seconds and turned around to this precious site :).

Thank you for reading.

Love, K

P.S. - My family has been through genetic counseling, and we do not carry the breast cancer gene. However, given my family cluster, I'm still at a much higher risk than the normal to get cancer in my lifetime. I beg each of you to do monthly exams! I do my exam on the 27th of every month (since that is my lucky number). If you are 40 or over, please talk to your doctor about getting a mammogram. I can assure you it doesn't hurt as much as cancer might!

So Guess What Happened to Me Last Night?

2009-06-24T14:35:00.001-07:00

Yep! And I hadn't even made it out of the garage at work! Go figure. But you know what else? I already got a phone call today from the other guy's insurance company. It looks like they are taking responsibility and sending out an appraiser tomorrow to pay for the damages. I love when these things work out :)!

I promise to post something good tomorrow!

Love, K

I'm Having Work Life Balance Issues...

2009-06-23T09:27:00.001-07:00

I am working on a great post for later this week. Until then, enjoy this :)!

I Love My Job!

- a lost Dr. Seuss poem

I love my job, I love the pay!

I love it more and more each day.

I love my boss, she is the best!

I love her boss and all the rest!

I love my job and it's location,

I hate to have to go on vacation.

I love my furniture, drab and gray,

and piles of paper that grow each day.

I think my job is really swell,

There's nothing else I love so well.

I love to work among my peers,

I love their leers, and sneers, and jeers.

I love my computer and it's software,

I hug it often though it doesn't care.

I love each program and every file,

I'd love them more if they worked awhile.

I'm happy to be here. I am! I am!

I'm the happiest slave of the Firm. I am!

I love this work, I love these chores.

I love the meetings with deadly bores!

I love my job - I'll say it again!

I even love those friendly men!

Those friendly men who've come today,

In clean white coats to take me away!!!

I should be out of the looney bin by Thursday. Until then, my friends!

Love, K

The Story of My (Work) Life

2009-06-18T14:34:00.001-07:00

How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

1) "I want a detailed memo about this issue till tomorrow's morning."

2) "You were supposed to have changed that light bulb last week!"

3) "We haven't got a policy on that."

4) "I am on my way to a very important meeting, so we'll discuss it some other time."

5) Three. Two to find out if it needs changing, and one to tell an employee to change it.

Around here, it's usually # 4 or #5 :)!

Have fun!

Love, K

Meet Oliver...

2009-06-15T06:34:00.001-07:00

I wanted to share my cat with you for this week's Life is Funny carnival. You know the rules, but if you need a refresher course, check it out on Wendy's blog.

This really is my cat. A few people I have shown this first picture to, do not believe that it's my cat. I did not get this picture off of the internet. I found this little gem of an animal under a dumpster at the local supermarket when he was only a few weeks old. He stole my heart and hasn't given it back.

One day, I was going down the stairs to the basement to change my laundry around and there he was propped up at the bottom of the stairs. He looked quite content. I figured he'd move, but I had time to run back up the stairs to grab my camera. By the time I got back, he was still sitting there.

I think he might have blinked once or twice, but I don't believe a single major muscle was moved. I have no idea why he likes to sit like this or why this little corner of the basement is so fascinating. I don't pretend to understand what goes on in the mind of cats.

One last point I want to make. He really isn't as fat as he looks in this picture. I've tried telling him that this is not a flattering pose, but he could care less. He's a boy cat and apparently boys don't care about camera angles. He weighs 11 1/2 pounds which is a little larger than most domestic house cats, but my vet is not worried, so I'm not worried.

Just to prove that it really is my cat, I thought I'd add some more "action" shots. To be clear, unless there is food involved, this is as "action" as it gets. This is his favorite place to watch television/sleep.

In this "action" shot, he's mad at the world and getting ready to kick some tail because there's a piece of paper stuck on his nose.

Here he is guarding the back yard. Or he could be sunbathing, not sure. Either way, the sheer excitement and intensity of this "action shot" just exhausts me.

Now this one is a "real" "action" shot (in theory). Here, Oliver is on his way to the moon in a rocket ship (aka the box my new tub came in). Doesn't he look thrilled? He's a good furry brother (aka shuttle commander).

Now, all kidding aside, the one thing other than food that will make Oliver get excited is running water. I always assumed that cats hated water, but mine must be part fish. I had started my bath water the other night and walked away to only find this when I got back. He will hide out under the vanity until I close the door and get in the tub. Then he sits on the side of the tub and stares until I let him dip his paws in. Before long, I have a cat in the tub with me. Go figure!

For next week's Life is Funny carnival? How Yo-yo got her name. Hint...don't let the peaceful, tranquil, Oliver-like picture fool you.

Love, K

Surprise Wedding Reception

2009-06-12T07:00:00.000-07:00

Along with my love of baking and music, I also love theater and acting. There is a group based out of New York City called ImprovEverywhere. They are an improv group that will randomly show up in fun and interesting places and bring shear joy and chaos along with them.

Most of their "missions" are hysterically funny. They've done everything from staging a broadway musical in the middle of a mall food court where almost everyone around them was in the dark about what was happening, to placing a fancy bathroom attendant in a local McDonald's bathroom.

They've also done some missions that are just completely touching and special.

My favorite mission ever is called Best Game Ever. These guys turned a normal little league game in California into a major league sporting event, complete with super-fans (with belly's painted), printed programs, vendors, and a big jumbotron. The game was covered "live" (not really) by NBC complete with Jim Gray and Charlie Todd as announcers. Those little boys will remember that game for the rest of their lives.

That mission made my heart warm.

It might be the mood I'm in today, or just where my head has been for the last several months, but this last mission also made my heart smile. They staged a surprise wedding reception for a random couple that got married at the city building.

This is one of the actors congratulating the happy couple and telling them that the mayor is giving away one free wedding reception each day. Would they be interested? They said "let's go!"

Check out the video and then be sure to read the background notes.

http://improveverywhere.com/2009/06/02/surprise-wedding-reception/

With everything wrong with the world today, I love being able to make a random person happy. I know nothing about this couple, but they now have one of the best wedding stories ever.

Enjoy!

Love, K

Guess what time of year it is??

2009-06-10T07:33:00.001-07:00

I have always had pretty good performance reviews. Although, I seriously don't like having to write them or receive them.

Enjoy!

Love, K

I've Been Busy!

2009-06-08T09:08:00.000-07:00

In case you missed me last week, I was busy! I was out of town for 3 days for my work, and my beautiful step daughter got married on Friday evening. This is their wedding cake that I made for them (in my spare time last week).

The cake was inspired by our recent trip to the Butterfly show. I handmade and hand painted all of the butterflies with fondant. The bottom later is French vanilla bean with blackberry filling, the middle layer is lemon pound cake with lemon curd, and the top layer is strawberry with strawberry mousse. There wasn't any cake left :).

I'll show more pictures later in the week. Now, I need to get caught up on my work email!

Congratulations Jes and Art! We love you!

Love, K

There's a Mouse in My Piano!

2009-06-01T11:48:00.001-07:00

What I'm about to tell you is absolutely 100% true. If it weren't Monday and time for Wendy's Life is Funny Carnival, I probably wouldn't admit it, though. You know the "rules" by now, but if not, you can find them on her blog weightwhat.blogspot.com.

This past weekend, I was working on the never ending kitchen renovation project. I promise it's getting close and I promise to share the before and after pictures when it's finished.

I was on the kitchen floor grouting the new tile I put in last week, and kept hearing a noise from my living room. I wasn't sure what the noise was, but assumed I wasn't in imminent danger. I forgot about it after a bit.

About an hour later, I decided to take a break and sat down to watch a TV show in the living room. There it went again. It sounded like a "plink" on my piano.

I waited a few minutes and it happened again...."plink".

I turned off the television and waited.

"plink"

I walked over to the piano and started to study the piano keys. I hit a few notes and figured out that whatever it was, the "plink" was a high E Flat. (Yes, I can play the piano. My dad was a music teacher, and I didn't have much of a choice :-)).

I was staring intently at the piano when my husband walked up behind me.

Him: "Honey. Are you ok?"

Me: "Not sure."

Him: "Honey. What are you looking at?"

Me: "I keep hearing a noise. It's an E Flat. But the key isn't moving up and down when the noise happens!"

Him: "Well, maybe it's a mouse." He says this rather calmly like I wouldn't care if there's a mouse living in my piano.

I just stared at him.

Him: "Watch out! There it goes!!!"

Me: I punched him. Hard.

Him: "Honey. Have you thought of lifting the lid to see if it's a mouse?"

Piano: "Plink!"

Me: I stared at him.

Him: "Honey. Or, you could just plug in my cell phone so it won't keep making that noise."

Yep! That's right! I spent 1 hour and 20 minutes of my life worrying about the mouse that was playing Beethoven's 5th in my piano only to not see my husband's cell phone sitting on the piano telling me it needed to be plugged in!

"Plink!"

Love, K

More Beautiful Things...

2009-05-27T11:42:00.000-07:00

My 86 year old grandmother and my 10 month old niece.

How beautiful?

Love, Kelli

Beautiful Things

2009-05-26T12:40:00.000-07:00

I wanted to share my weekend with you...in pictures...

On Sunday after church, our family had a wonderful brunch at a really fun restaurant in Northern Kentucky. I've lived here for 25 years, yet have only eaten at this place one other time. The restaurant is on the top floor of a hotel and the floor of the restaurant actually revolves in a circle. During our 1 hour brunch, we enjoyed a panoramic view of downtown Cincinnati and Covington, Kentucky.

This is a view of the Ohio River and downtown Cincinnati. That's Paul Brown Stadium you see behind the bridge. For those of you not "up" on your stadiums, that's the home of the top-notch Cincinnati Bengals. The Reds (who are actually a decent ball team) play at the Great American Ball Park, which you can't see in this picture. The tallest building you see is the Carew Tower. It's the tallest structure in Cincinnati, and I have walked the stairs to the top of it!

This is Mainstrasse, in Covington, KY. Covington (and Cincinnati, for that matter) was settled in the early 1800's by mostly German immigrants. We LOVE our German heritage in Cincinnati, and celebrate Oktoberfest and Maifest every year!

This gorgeous building is the Cathedral Basilica, also in Covington. I apologize for my amateur photography, but this building is probably a good mile from where I was enjoying lunch. This beautiful structure was modeled after the Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris and is a must see if you are ever in the area. It also is home to the world's largest and third largest stained glass windows. Beautiful!!!

After brunch, we went to the Butterfly show at the Cincinnati Flower and Garden center. This year they featured native species to India. I usually insist on going each year, but this year I remembered my camera! This Common Tiger butterfly was beatiful and rather friendly. Shortly after I took this picture, he (she?) flew away.

And this is where he landed. He actually stayed here for quite some time. Plenty enough time for my sister-in-law and I to take plenty of pictures. That's my husband's forehead, by the way. He says it's because he's so sweet and all. Not sure about that?!?!

I loved the pattern on this beautiful Common Sailor butterfly. Even black and white is beautiful!

I have no idea what this is, but doesn't that big spot look like an eye staring back at you?

This is an orchid, that was in the flower part of the show. Isn't it stunning?

I simply LOVE the color of these leaves. I think this is called a Red Ti, but not certain. I'm pretty sure these aren't native to Kentucky, but I'd plant them in my front yard if they were!

I also love this red Peace Lily. My grandmother's name was Lillie and everytime I see one, I think of her. She would have loved this red one.

This is what I found after I finished up in the gift shop. Don't they look content (aka bored out of their minds!)?

Love, Kelli

A Nice Reminder

2009-05-18T06:17:00.001-07:00

As part of my "day" job, I work with business teams to solve business issues, brainstorm new ideas, create new products or strategies, etc. It's a really fun job, and I'm very lucky to have it. There are 2 things that I particularly love about my work. First, I absolutely love the people. I have met some of the most incredible and interesting people. I have found and heard some absolutely inspirational stories that have brought me to tears. I've also heard some stories that I've retold at parties for years afterwards, too.

Check out the video below. I usually use this at the beginning of my brainstorming. Please don't read any of the descriptions or comments ahead of time.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2pK0BQ9CUHk

How did you do do? I like re-watching this video from time to time, because it reminds me to take my own personal "filters" off of what I'm seeing. I like looking at problems and challenges through a fresh pair of eyes. You can usually solve your issues much faster!

Enjoy!

Love, Kelli

Snapping Turtles and Kitchen Wars...

2009-05-11T10:46:00.000-07:00

I wanted to share some completely random things with you that don't really make for a post. But because I'm writing it and it's my blog, it counts :)!

When my beautiful 8 year old baby boy first started at his school last year, he simply had to join the chess club and the ski club. After looking into it, he decided that he didn't want to do the ski club, because he was a better skiier than the rest of the kids. Keep in mind that we live in Northern Kentucky and our ski season is 8 - 10 weeks long at best. So it's not harder to be better than the other kids.

He did join the chess club, though. Chess was something we taught him back in pre-school as a way to talk to him about "war". What do you know? He picked it up and can hold his own in tournaments now. Since he wasn't doing the ski club this year I told him he could do something else. He chose Fishing Club....

Don't ask me, I don't know either. But these kids absolutely LOVE fishing club. They talked about all kinds of stuff at these meetings. Every Tuesday, my son would come home with a fishing story or a list of things he needed to have for his next fishing outing. He even came home with a 10 foot long cane pole (should have seen me trying to put that thing in my little car when I picked him up that day). Last Friday was the last week of club, so Mr. L organized a fishing tournament. I'm figuring this is going to be Colin and about 8 of his friends with little cane poles around a dinky lake.

I had a PTO meeting at school that day, so I called Grandpa (gotta love Grandpa's - especially this one) to see if he could bring Colin's fishing pole and tackle box and meet us at the lake at 4:15. It started to drizzle on our way out, but I figured I only had to do this until 5 or so and then I was free and clear to start my weekend. I pulled up to what is normally an empty lake, and there were at least 50 cars with three times the number of kids and parents. There are only 250 kids in the entire school!

This was a serious party! They had refreshments and grilled hot dogs under a tent at one end. Kids were scattered all around this pond. Luckily, Grandpa brought his fishing pole too, because these people were serious. Mr. L was even set up with a measuring tape and scale pully thing to measure the fish the kids caught. They had serious prizes too. My son had his eye on the second prize. A pretty new red fishing pole.

I gabbed for a bit and then heard a bunch of commotion. Some kid had pulled a big snapping turtle out of the water all by himself. I decided to walk down there and there's my baby boy nose to nose with one of the biggest snapping turtles i've ever seen in my life. Mr. L came running and it measured at least 16 inches, but he wasn't going to get too close. It took 3 grown men to try to wrestle the fishing line from this turtle. Mostly cuz the turtle wasn't too happy about being messed with. He was snapping at anyone that came too close to him. It was a site! I wish I would have brought my camera, but I didn't really know about the outing, so I guess you can either believe my fish/turtle story or not! Either way, it's true :).

Now, for the continuing saga of the Kitchen drama. To catch up, click here. Hubs came home on Saturday morning with everything he needed to make my Mother's Day weekend a living heck (aka paint the living room and kitchen). Recall, that he was bent on painting kitchen "Limelight".

Which is not very different, AT ALL, from "Contemplation" that I wanted.

So, what did he come home with, you ask????

Wait for it....

No, seriously, wait for it....

Are you even kidding me?!?!?!?! And you know what his excuse was? That he had picked out a different brand paint chip (AKA SOLD AT LOWES!) and he was trying to "color match" to the original color.

OK #1) you didn't...not even close there, my dear! #2) everyone knows that the Orange Home Depot will color match any swatch of paint for you...HELLO!?!?!?!? it's on their commercials!

Where are we on the neverending home renovation, you ask? Well, my one finished room in the house (my living room) has now been repainteda lovely shade of boring tan, but I no longer have any face plates, molding, base boards or curtains. So, I now have ZERO finished rooms in the house. And my kitchen has a blue tarp on the hardwood floors and not an ounce of paint on the walls. Go figure!

That's all I have time for right now. I'll check back soon!

Love, Kelli

PS - even though C had the longest "catch" of the day, some kid who caught a 15.5" catfish won the tournament. Semantics!!!!

What I do for Fun

2009-05-06T13:07:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite blogs to read is CakeWrecks. Jen is extremely funny, a bit snarky, and a not so closeted science-fiction geek. I'm not sure why I feel so connected to her sometimes ;-). She shares pictures of "professional" cakes that have gone horribly horribly wrong.

One of my goals in life, is to own my own bakery and be a "professional". I like doing wedding cakes, because that's where the money is in cake decorating, but I really LOVE to do little party cakes (birthdays, anniversaries, etc.). I can be a bit more creative with a party cake. One of my greatest fears, is that my cakes would somehow end up on Jen's blog (hoping not, though). I thought I would share some cakes that I've done. Keep in mind, that I do this out of my home, for friends, and that I work full time :).

I made this cake for my mom's retirement party a few months ago. Each layer was a different flavor and included butter cream frosting under the fondant (cuz fondant tastes icky, but is really pretty). Other than the 2 live Gerber daisies, I made the flower decorations.

I made this cake for a little girl's 5th birthday party. I was a little disappointed in the overall color (I wanted it to be more yellow than brown). I LOVE the leaves and ivy, but they seem to big for the dainty little flowers.

This cake was for the same little girl the previous year. This is all buttercream except for the fondant in some of the flowers, leaves, butterflies, etc. The birthday girl placed some of her cute little fairy dolls on this cake, and it's still one of my favorites.

This is one of the first cakes I ever did in all fondant. I thought it was really great when I did it, but I think I could do it better now :-). This was for my friend's daughter who was turning 16 on Saint Patrick's day. She wanted a St Patty's day cake that was whimsical and wasn't just a big shamrock. Her friends thought she was pretty cool!

I did this cake a few weeks ago for my son's 8th birthday. This is the Daytona International Speedway, as interpreted by me. I'm pretty sure that the Daytona 500 doesn't have a figure 8 or a cave in the middle of the track, but I still really liked it. The checkered flag and the road is fondant, and everything else is buttercream. It was yummy. Also, just for the record, my son added the ugly candles and cars. I tried convincing him he didn't want to mess up my piece of art with candles and Hot Wheels, but he felt differently.

I'm almost a little embarassed to show this one, but this is one of the very first cakes I ever did. It was for one of my co-workers baby showers. The big black smiley faces on he stars are a little over the top. I still love it, though!

Just wanted to share. I hope you enjoy! If you're ever in the Cincinnati area and need a cake, let me know :-)!

Love, Kelli

Life is Funny....How to Fix Your Marriage...

2009-05-04T05:41:00.000-07:00

After Friday night's post, I feel like I need to post a "funny". Just for the record, I actually love my husband very very much and he's a good dear man. I just like to complain about his taste in interior design :).

I get a joke email delivered to my email inbox every morning. This morning, I nearly spit my fresh brewed extra caffeine 2 splenda iced tea at my computer screen. This is not mine, it's courtesy of joke-of-the-day.com (you should seriously sign up). I also thought I would share in Wendy's carnival, cuz it's funny! You can find the carnival "rules" on her blog weightwhat.blogspot.com.

How To Fix Your Marriage...
After just a few years of marriage filled with constant arguments, a young man and his wife decided the only way to save their marriage was to try counseling. They had been at each other's throats for some time and felt that this was their last straw.

When they arrived at the counselor's office, the counselor jumped right in and opened the floor for discussion. "What seems to be the problem?" Immediately, the husband held his long face down without anything to say.

In contrast, the wife began talking 90 miles an hour, describing all the wrongs within their marriage.After 15 minutes of listening to the wife, the counselor went over to her, picked her up by her shoulders, kissed her passionately and sat her back down.

Afterwards, the wife sat speechless.The marriage counselor looked over at the husband, who stared in disbelief. The counselor said to the husband, "Your wife NEEDS that at least twice a week!"The husband scratched his head and replied, "I can have her here on Tuesdays and Thursdays."

That's all for now!

Love, Kelli

Color Blind

2009-05-01T14:03:00.000-07:00

I promised I would fill you on on the "drama" that happened last week while I was on vacation. Here is my lame attempt at explaining what happened.

First off, I didn't know that men really cared about colors. My husbands idea of how colors "go together" is whether this shade of brown is the same as this other shade of brown. I have been working on him for at least a year now that I wanted to add color to the kitchen. He got to paint his new bathroom downstairs a lovely shade of off-white with white trim. I get to choose the colors upstairs. right??? WRONG!!

So, I went to the orange Home Depot (not the blue Home Depot that my son prefers) and picked out several different shades that I wanted to paint the kitchen. There were some pretty orange-ish colors, some nice shades of green, and a gorgeous shade of bluish gray that I simply had to have!!! I managed to convince him that this beautiful shade, "Contemplation", was what we needed. (Doesn't the name even sound serene?) I know my husband quite well, by now. Of course I had him sign his initials to my "Contemplation" paint chip.

The next morning, the paint manager at the orange Home Depot gladly gave me 3 gallons of primer, 1 gallon of white ceiling paint, 2 gallons of "Parchment Paper" for my long hallway, and 2 gallons of my beloved "Contemplation". She did laugh at his scribbled initials, but she definitely understood and appreciated my logic. Heck, I had my bases covered!

My dad came over the next day and helped me prime and paint (2 coats) the kitchen, hallway, and ceiling. It was a long long day, but my kitchen was beautiful when I was done. Now, I held my breath until my husband walked in the door.

Long story short....he hated it!!! And, I apparently used the wrong kind of primer. I was so devastated I cried for 2 days. I'm sure my crying had nothing to do with the fact that I was completely exhausted, had spent $300 on paint and supplies, and that "Mother Nature" might have been visiting.

I had to listen to him complain non-stop about how the kitchen didn't "match" the hallway or the living room (which is the only finished room in my house, by the way)! And he kept complaining about the primer poisoning that he was suffering from. Granted, I purchased the prime that the lady told me to buy. How, was I supposed to know that oil-based primer shouldn't be used in doors!

So now, not only does he want to repaint the kitchen and hall, but he also wants to re-paint the ceiling and living room! And I know he's going to need to re-prime everything because it stinks so bad.

This all happened on Tuesday. On Friday, I finally went with him to the blue Home Depot (I'm sure they don't really like me calling them that) with my husband to pick out new colors. I told him I would be involved in choosing the color, but that I wouldn't help him paint. I had already been there, done that! Either way, he picked out a new color for the living room (which is actually quite nice and I will secretly like it I'm sure, but I'll never tell him that) and a new color for the kitchen.

So you ask...why am I complaining? I'll tell you why. First off, here is a swatch of my beloved "Contemplation" (the color doesn't exactly come across here, but it's a gorgeous shade of blue, green, and a bit of gray):

Now, here's why I'm complaining. Here's what he picked out to replace the "Contemplation" that he simply couldn't live with. I introduce you to "Limelight":

Yep - tell me about it! Hello People!?!?! It's like the same color!

OK - rant over. Do you know what I'm doing this Saturday? Yep, that's right! I'm going shopping, getting a manicure and pedicure, and having lunch with my sister and using his debit card. Guess what he's doing?

That's all for now!

Love, Kelli

An Important Warning!

2009-04-30T14:11:00.000-07:00

With the swine flu pandemic continuing to gain steam across the globe, our administration and federal gov’t offices sent out an official warning to all US citizens to do a few things:
1. Restrict travel
2. Wash hands often
3. Refrain from large public gathers.

And above all – they cautioned us all not to do the following….

I'm working on a post to share the kitchen drama that I went through while I was on "vacation". Yes, I did mean to quote that because I was technically on vacation, although it wasn't very vacation-y.

I will share soon :)!

That's all for now!

Love, Kelli

I'm switching!

2009-04-17T12:44:00.000-07:00

Be still my twittering heart! Have you all seen this? I think I must switch to Flutter :)!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BeLZCy-_m3s

All kidding aside, I'm going on vacation!! I will still be on Twitter next week, because I'm not sure I have the ability to not be on Twitter. I will probably not post though. I can't wait to show you what I did while I was gone though ;)!

Miss you all! Kelli

I don't feel good today...

2009-04-08T06:11:00.000-07:00

Begin rant...

I really don't. And you know what else? My husband is in the middle of tearing out my kitchen. I have bare drywall on 2 walls and exposed studs on the third wall. I have no upper cabinets. They are in the basement getting ready for me to sand, prime and paint them. My husband and his friend are supposed to be there at 4:00 today to take out my lower cabinets, my sink, and my dishwasher. You'd think these two have a death wish or something. What's pushing me over the edge is that my husband (kindly) asked if I could work until 8:00 (aka so I wouldn't be there to bother them) then bring them dinner home and be ready to clean up all the nasty drywall stuff after them. At 9:00 at night, people! I turn into a pumpkin at 9:00! My head hurts. My throat hurts. I have a runny nose and my body aches. Not to mention, I've had pretty weird vertigo bouts for the last week and a half (that's not been pretty). All I want to do is go home and get in my bed and pull my pretty purple down comforter over my head and sleep until Easter Sunday.

End rant...

Tata - K!

PS - I know, I know...I should be grateful that I'm getting a new kitchen. The really really is that my house has been under constant heavy duty construction since for 3 1/2 years now, and I'm completely sick of it! My husband tells me it's almost over, and I don't believe him one bit!!! It took him ten months to renovate my upstairs bathroom (which by the way, he waited until I was on an international business trip to rip out my beloved bathtub) and he told me that the bathroom was the easy part!

PPS - I am really really really finished with my rant now!

PPPS - I apologize to my high school English teacher Mrs. Bellm and my sister Allison who teaches English for all of the poor grammar and punctuation in this post. If you haven't noticed, I don't feel good!

The Important Things in Life...

2009-03-30T10:07:00.000-07:00

Have you all seen this? It really makes you sit back and think about what's important in your life.

Take this quiz:

1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world.

Bill Gates, the Sultan of Brunei????

2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.

nope, can't do it...

3. Name the last three winners of the American Idol.

David Cook, Jordin Sparks, and Taylor Hicks (not sure what this means about me that this was the easiest category to fill out)

4. Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize.

John Nash, Jimmy Carter, Dalai Lama, Mother Theresa, Winston Churchill, T.S. Eliot, Marie Curie, Albert Einstein, and that's all I have...(and I'm not sure these are right, but they are my guesses)

5. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor actress.

I can't do this question at all. I like watching movies, but I don't tend to like the same types of movies as the "Academy", so I never watch the Academy Awards.

6. Name the last decade's worth of World Series winners.

Baseball isn't my thing, and since the Cincinnati Reds haven' done well since 1990, I have no clue!

How did you do?The point is, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday. These are no second-rate achievers. They are the best in their fields. But the applause dies. Awards tarnish. Achievements are forgotten. Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.Here's another quiz.

I want to share with you these special people in my life. Rather than just give a short name, I want to tell you why each of these people are special. I am going to answer two of the questions today and save the other 4 for Tuesday and Wednesday.

1. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.

- Mrs. Perkins: my first grade teacher who taught me that school could be fun and it wasn't scary. I still have a little Raggedy Ann book she gave me on the last day of school that year (let's just say the book is over 30 years old). Thanks Mrs. Perkins!

- Miss Losey: my fifth grade teacher who taught me what a smart student I was. I was a very average student until I came across Miss Losey. It turned out I was a really good speller and would win the class spelling bee every Friday, until she brought a smarty pants 4th grader in to give me a run! Thanks Miss Losey!

- Mr. Clark: he wasn't even one of my teachers. I had Mrs. Ho (yes, that was her name) for Chemistry, but found myself bored by her class. I was bored not because I was bored by the topic, but bored because she wasn't teaching me fast enough. Who would have thunk? Mr. Clark taught the other Chemistry classes and began to tutor me after school. He is the reason that I majored in science in college. Thanks Mr. Clark!

- Dr. Williams: one of my favorite teachers ever! Dr. Williams was my music teacher from the time I was three weeks old (my first piano lesson), to making sure I knew what the story line was before our elementary school trips to the foreign operas (everyone else hated this, but I loved it), to helping me choose a band instrument, making me learn other band instruments because his French Horn section was graduating, teaching orchestra, marching band, jazz band, music composition, etc. As an added perk, he also happens to be my dad :). Thanks Dad!

- Dr. and Mrs. Rambo: This was a husband and wife duo of Biology professors at my college. I can honestly say that they have changed my life. Mrs. Rambo taught my General Biology classes as a freshmen, and then Dr. Rambo taught my Animal Behavior, Ornithology (study of birds) and Ecology, and was also my sponsor for my senior thesis. When my husband and I were getting married, we tried really hard to get all of our family together on a weekend where Dr. Rambo could officiate, but it just didn't work. I am friends with both of them on Facebook, and just last week went running outside with my camera (in my nightgown) to chase down a bird I hadn't seen before. Thanks Dr. and Mrs. Rambo!

2. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.

- Pegi/Maggie: Her name alone is a fun story for another day. Pegi/Maggie helped me through a horrible divorce while she was going through one herself. She has the best laugh ever and could make a rock smile. Thanks Pegi/Maggie!

- Trinette: I don't know how I could possible have lived 30 years of my life not knowing you. She has been such a great sounding board for me and only she knows what she's talked me in and out of doing :)! Plus, my son may be only 8 today, but we may be in-laws someday! Thanks Trinette!

- Allison: I wasn't a fan of you the day mom and dad brought you home. I wasn't a fan of yours while you were going through puberty. I wasn't a fan of yours while I was getting married. But somehow, in the midst of all of that, you became my best friend. Thanks Allison!

Thank you again to some of the most important people in my life. Some of you know how I feel and others have no clue. Hopefully, now you do!

Tata - K!

It's an Emergency!

2009-03-30T07:53:00.000-07:00

My dearest sister,

This formally and kindly requests that you please bring me your baby at your earliest convenience. I missed her smiling face while you were on vacation (I guess I missed you too for that matter).

It's not fair at all that she learned to crawl (err, bear crawl I suppose) while on vacation. It's not fair at all that she got to meet (and talk to) the beautiful baby in the mirror. It's not fair at all that she got to swim everyday without Kiki's help! I've missed all of that!

Please bring me your baby immediately!

Tata - K!

PS - I'm really not kidding! Seriousy!

I Committed....

2009-03-23T11:19:00.000-07:00

I had a bit of a stomach bug this weekend (that actually might have been food poisoning, now that I think of it). Either way, I started feeling yucky on Friday night (shortly after Chinese food for dinner) and was on the floor of the bathroom for the next 2 days. And you're welcome for sharing that :)!

As you're laying on the bathroom floor for 48 hours, it gives you time to sit and think. For some reason I kept thinking of what I might think of as my "Most Embarassing Moment EVER". Now, up until the time that this happened a few years ago, I would consider my most embarassing moment to be the time my wrap-around skirt fell off while I was jumping rope in the second grade. I was standing there in my pretty blue and white flowered underwear staring at the love of my life, Brad Mayberry (at least he was the love of my life in the second grade). I'm still pretty scarred from this incident. It brings chills just thinking about it. It stuck with me up until a little bit before Easter three years ago.

I had started going to a new church the year before, but hadn't got to involved in the "extracurricular" activities yet. I was asked to play in the Orchestra (hidden talent #2) for the Easter Contata. I was really excited to be asked and to meet the other musicians. The best part of all, was that my sister was going to play as well.

Fast forward a few weeks to Good Friday. We were having a "full on" dress rehearsal. It's completely dark in all areas of the building and they've asked us not to use the main restrooms since they were just cleaned and we were expecting extra folks at the services for the next 2 days. Well, I had to "go", so me and my sister set off in search of a restroom. We asked for directions and we were sent off down a really dark hall.

I went into the first door I saw and my first instinct was that these bathrooms looked a whole lot different than the ones right outside the sanctuary. There was a shower stall to my right, and only one bathroom stall. To the left there were some faucets and a few urinals. I noticed a man at the urinal and completely FREAKED OUT. Instead of turning around, apologizing, and running out like a normal person, I committed. Yep - I walked into the bathroom stall like I had every right to be there. Of course, I had stage fright at this point and couldn't "go". Either way, I waited the man out and kept busy until he left.

After I heard the door close, I washed my hands really quick and got the heck out of dodge. As I opened the door, my sister was standing there waiting for me...talking to the man that had been in the bathroom. It turns out that this "man", was actually our pastor's son who was home from college for the weekend. He was telling my sister about a crazy woman that was in the men's room. When she asked me if it was me, I had no answer. All I could say was that I had "committed", and by the time I realized what was going on I thought the best course of action would be to hide in the stall.

Either way, it's three years later and I suppose I was thinking of this because we are working on our Easter contata for 2009. I've come to love all of my fellow musician friends and enjoy our weekly practices. I still have a hard time though looking the guitar player in the eye.

Poor Ryan...I hope I haven't scarred him for life.

So, now that I've shared mine, I'd love to hear about your most embarassing moment. Feel free to put it in the comments section or blog about it. Either way, make sure you tell me so I can go look!

Tata - K!

To My Sweet Boy...

2009-03-19T17:24:00.000-07:00

My sweet boy,

It's been now exactly 8 years since you came into my world. From the minute I laid eyes on you, I fell madly in love. I like to tell people that you came out of the womb smiling and laughing...and I really wasn't kidding. You don't know this, but to this day when you look at me with your sweet eyes, I just melt. It's so hard to tell you that you can't have that third popsicle in a row or that you really DO need to take a shower even though there's not visible dirt.

You're in the second grade this year and are the tallest boy in your class. I'm so proud of what a good reader and how much you love math. I am so excited that you have such a special teacher this year. You have such a bond with Mr. F and I only hope your 3rd grade teacher understands what he/she's getting themselves into with you. I love that you can sing the entire Notre Dame fight song, and you touch the wall as you leave your classroom. Mr. F has made quite a mark on you.

I ask God to keep His loving hand on you. I pray that you continue your walk in Him.

Happy Birthday my sweet boy! Only 8 years more and we'll be talking about driving :)

I love you more than you'll ever know.

Love, mom

Life is Funny!

2009-03-16T17:53:00.000-07:00

I have a pretty stressful day job...you know the one I get paid for? It definitely keeps me on my toes. As a matter of fact, we're going through quite possibly the worst several weeks we've ever had since I've been with the company. And - it's not going to be over until the end of March. But, I'm not counting or anything....

One of the things I LOVE to do (along with the rest of us) is to read blogs, especially funny ones. After all, laughter is the best medicine. During all of this stressful stuff, I've been thinking a lot lately about the Life is Funny posting on weightwhat. She sent out a challenge last week to share whatever in life you think is funny. I can't even tell you how much I needed to mull this thought around in my head for the last week or so. This has been my saving grace lately and has kept me thinking positive and happy during a pretty crazy time. Now, to be clear, she also has threatened not to call me by my new name unless I put up a blog post :).

So, here it goes. I wanted to share my favorite funny blogs with y'all. These aren't in any special order, but I have to admit, these are my "go-to" blogs when I need a pick me up :)! Give them a read :)

1. My dear cousin married the sweetest girl from Texas. They now have a beautiful family of 5 children (that I like to think look like my side of the family). I really don't like having part of my family so far away, but it was to our advantage a few weeks ago. My 8 year old son had a project from school, where he had to make a Flat Stanley (from the child's book) and send Stanley on a trip. We decided to send Stanley to Texas to meet our dear cousins in Texas. Lana and family took Stanley EVERYWHERE with them. The best part of all, she even blogged about him. You need to read my gorgeous, funny, and super-talented cousin Lana's blog - ilovemy5kids.blogspot.com.

2. One of the things I love to do in my spare time is to make elaborate cakes. I don't necessarily love to bake per se, it's the decorating that does it for me. I suppose I look at a blank cake as an artist would look at a blank canvas....endless possibilities. I love looking at cakes other people did to learn new techniques and get new ideas. I was looking for inspiration one day, and came across a true GEM of a blog. You need to drop in on cakewrecks! If you happen to be a science fiction fan, you will simply fall in love with her!

3. I have been reading Suburban Turmoil for several years now. This woman can seriously tell a story and I find something that I relate to in almost everyone she tells. She told a story yesterday that nearly brought me to tears. She and her husband were apparently going through a rough patch. There was no longer any physical contact; they were constantly bickering. So they made an appt with someone who could save their marriage. He told them exactly what they needed to know. They both had strep throat. I was at work while reading this, and it quickly became clear that I was up to no good:). Tonight she has a beautiful tribute to her 2 year old son...so sweet!

4. Have you ever read a blog where you feel like the writer could be your friend from a former life? When I came across weightwhat, I was blown away. Wendy can seriously tell a story and keep you on the edge of the seat the whole time. She has the quirkiest sense of humor, and I simply love it! My favorite posts are the ones where I'm pretty sure she hasn't planned out. She has this funny talent of being able to sit down at the computer and spew some of the funniest random meanderings you will ever run across.

Wendy - Thank you for pushing me to get this out of my head :)!

I will leave you with my favorite joke. You may or may not think it's funny, but to this day I will laugh just thinking about it :).

You ready?

What do the Star Trek Enterprise and toilet paper have in common?

You ready again?

Seriously?

I'm warning you?

They both circle Uranus in search of Kling-on's!

And that's all folks!

Tata - K!

Tide Loads of Hope - Please Help

2009-03-11T16:38:00.000-07:00

Quick Post!!! Please consider purchasing a T-shirt for the Tide Loads of Hope charity before 9:00 pm EST tonight (March 11). ALL proceeds from tonight's project will go to help disaster victims. This is a fabulous cause and the shirts are awesome. Go to tide1.com to purchase a red, yellow, green or blue shirt. One shirt for $20 + shipping or free shipping for 2 or more shirts.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sgPWDC12jIs

Tata - K!

An Update

2009-03-05T18:10:00.000-08:00

I think Hell just froze over...Not only am I posting twice in one week; I'm posting twice in one night! A few weeks ago, I posted an open letter to someone that I had a pretty bad falling out with. I was asking for her forgiveness. I've always tried to do the right thing, but there was a not so great time in my life, where I was pretty selfish. Needless to say, I really hurt someone I cared about.

The great news is that I found her, and we had a really great talk. We used to have so much fun together, and I think we both missed it. We both agreed that neither of us had handled things great, but I suppose we are both older and wiser now and have learned a lot.

There has been a void in my life since we last spoke and I'm so happy she has forgiven me. God has a powerful way of working things out...when they are supposed to be worked out.

That's all for now. I just wanted to share my great news!

Tata - K!

No Staplers Were Hurt in the Making of this...

2009-03-05T11:26:00.001-08:00

First off, sorry I haven't had time to post lately (work - the one where I get paid - has been a complete nightmare). I started this blog just to give myself a creative outlet. It turns out, that there are real people who read this! How fun is that? I always hated creative writing in school, but I love to tell a good story!

In my last post, I alluded to a practical joke that I pulled on one of my co-workers. I thought I would share how the whole thing unfolded. To set the stage, we sit in rows of cubes (kind of like the ones on Dilbert or Office Space). My coworker "H" has one of those red Swingline staplers (like Milton from Office Space.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZvGwr5wj8A8

"H" made the mistake of going on vacation and leaving her stapler behind. Just so I would be the sole bearer of "H's" wrath on her return, I roped my IT guy in on the project. So we stole the stapler and left a note in return. Here's a picture of the ransom letter (done in powerpoint of course, because we are a bunch of corporate paper-pushers):

Upon "H" returning to the office, she left a lengthy note something along the lines of "You people are ruining my productivity...my life....therefore the lives of my husband and children...". It was pretty guilt-ridden and made us feel a little bad. So we decided to send her our demands. We sent a lovely little letter requesting "1 case of Berry flavored Enviga and a 6 pack of Diet Pepsi Max" along with this picture:

She probably should have figured it out at this point given the specificity of the ransom request. But, she decided to get legal representation instead. Granted, the legal representation was actually 2 other people from our office (that is not a law firm) and they wrote up a 2 page memo on how "H" does not "corroborate with terrorists" and something about treason....yada yada yada....and that she would not be meeting our demands.

IT guy and I really weren't planning on actually making her meet the demands because we had something else in mind. At this point, we decided to get 2 more coworkers in on the deal (IT guy #2 and "B"), because it was beginning to become all encompassing (and we didn't want to be the sole receivers of the wrath of "H"). I dug through my son's toybox until I found them! They were going to come to the rescue of the stapler! IT guy #2 set all of this up the night before. The next morning when "H" walked in, this is what greeted her:

We also wrote a news article for the "World Events Daily". The article is below. It's a little hard to read, but "B" (coworker/culprit #4) did an absolutely fabulous job with it. Sadly, 3 little green army men were lost in this daring rescue attempt :(.

There you have it. "H" has yet to retaliate, but IT guy #1, IT guy #2, and "B" are ready if she decides. That's it for now. I promise to not wait too long between posts next time!!

Tata - K!

I thought I would share...

2009-02-19T12:05:00.000-08:00

I absolutely LOVE watching videos. In my work, I'm always looking for good and funny videos to make points in my presentations. I also will search youtube sometimes when I'm bored looking for new and funny stuff. Since I'm bored right now and can't really come up with anything else to share, I thought I would share some of my favorites with you.

Since I also love David Letterman, let's do this in Top 10 countdown style, except I only have 5...

#5 - Mike: Grace Kelly:

This guy has been around for awhile in Europe, and I'm beginning to hear some of his music on the airwaves in the US. His music is upbeat and catchy and he happens to be brilliant at the keyboard. I absolutely LOVE this video and can listen to this song over and over again.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tPUpxIBkcjM

#4 - Dramatic Lemur:

I might be the only person on the internets that hadn't seen this video, but this little guy makes me smile (and a little creeped out at the same time :) ). I can't even begin to tell you how many times I've watched this, since I found this on Wendy's blog.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SPMaXuDVwSI

#3 - Blood:

Poor little guy...nobody is paying any attention to him. I'm pretty sure he's going to be scarred for life and his therapist is going to hear some fabulous stories! If I were his mom, I would have handled this the same way and laughed my butt off!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-fVDGu82FeQ

#2 - Funny Cats:

I've always been a dog person. I just always had a dog growing up and LOVED all kinds of dogs. You name it...big, little, long hair, no hair, labrador, schnauzer, whatever. If it is of the "canine" kind, I love it. After my divorce, I was living in a cute little apartment with my son. Just the two of us, and it was nice. And then it happened....my son walked in the door with something in his hat. My sister had given him a kitten. After my shock and disgust, I realized that this was a pretty cool little creature. The picture below is my cat a few years later (and yes he was sitting like that, and no he's not as fat as he looks). The video is not of him, but he and his antics could be included if I had made this video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SUNmLuNdiL8

#1 - The Ultimate Practical Joke:
So, I love a good practical joke as much as the next person. Come to think of it, I pulled a pretty good one a few months ago, but that will make for a good post some other day. While I was planning this joke though, I came across this absolutely awesome video of quite possibly the best office practical joke EVER! I have an awesome job and work (with the exception of 1 - maybe 2 people) with the best group ever (seriously!). But don't you wish you worked for this company?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MDHYvuUAPrE

That's all I have time for this week. Please enjoy!

Tata - K!

My Rules for Engagement....

2009-02-12T05:14:00.000-08:00

OK - I've been through so many meetings lately, that I feel the need to lay out my new rules of engagement. I would love to say that if you want to engage with me in a business setting, you must comply!!! The reality is that I'm pretty much a peon.

Obviously, I spend way too much time in meetings. But since I've started facilitating and moderating as part of my job, I no longer have tolerance for painful meetings. When it's not my meeting, it's very hard for me not to say "OK - we're going in circles here, let's move on PEEPS"! I refrain (most of the time), but here is my wish list....

Take Note:

Rule #1 - After something has been stated 3 times, it's time to put it to rest.

Rule #2 - Speak only if you have something valuable to add to the conversation. You may agree with someone only if noone else has agreed with them. After that, you're speaking only to hear yourself speak.

Rule #3 - Agenda's are our friends!

Rule #4 - If only 3 people are talking during a meeting, the other 17 people probably should not have been invited.

Rule #5 - Meetings should last a maximum of 77 minutes! I swear to you that I read that 77 minutes is the most amount of time any reasonable person can stay engaged. Granted, I don't think I'm reasonable, since I tend to start losing it at 27 3/4 minutes.

Thank you for allowing me to get that off my chest. Now, if I could only set out to change the world, or my company, or maybe my work group, or I suppose I could just start with the people that sit in my cube (me and the weird looking caricature of me someone drew).

Tata - K

The love of my life

2009-02-05T14:11:00.000-08:00

So someone asked me the other day what I love to do. I started to rattle off all of the normal things...knitting, reading, baking, reading, playing with my kids, etc. And then I almost forgot to tell her about the love of my life. You ready for this one? It's geocaching!

Here's a picture of my son after finding a cache hidden at the base of a tree.

Straight from geocaching.com..."Geocaching is a high-tech treasure hunting game played throughout the world by adventure seekers equipped with GPS devices. The basic idea is to locate hidden containers, called geocaches, outdoors and then share your experiences online."

How nerdy and fun does that sound? I have to admit that I was turned on to this little gem of a hobby by 2 IT professionals (read nerds) that sat near me at work. I went with them to look for this tiny little thing (wasn't sure what I was looking for at the time) hidden in this stairwell on top of the tallest building in downtown Cinti. And it hit me...I was hooked.

The idea is that fellow geocachers hide their caches and then post the coordinates. You then follow the coordinates using your GPS and any hint they are nice enough to leave you with. It's proper protocol to sign the log and if the container is large enough there are sometimes trinkets. You take one and leave one for the next cacher.

Before long, I had logged 10 caches in the next week and even found myself staying up late obsessing about a particular cache (the dreaded Yellow Handle Communicator)! We organized a Wednesday caching crew of fellow cube-mates and went during our lunches to see how many we could find.

My husband and dog not paying any attention to the GPS coordinates.

Long story short, I can't wait for this snow to go away and for it to be a bit warmer. Fifteen degrees outside, does not make for fun caching weather.

Feel free to leave your caching stories, and be sure to visit http://www.geocaching.com/!

Tata - K

An Open Letter....

2009-02-03T12:09:00.001-08:00

This is an open letter to two people that I have hurt in my life. They know who they are so I won't go into any explanations here. I have been thinking a lot lately about true friends and just how lucky you are to have them in your life. And then sometimes you do stupid things and they never talk to you again. These are two different people and two different events, however I feel very bad about what happened. Funny enough it's been over 5 years since I hurt friend 1 and 3 years since friend 2. Wow, do I miss them both. I've tried finding you on google, facebook, myspace, whatever. You probably know who you are. Please forgive me?

All the love in the universe - me

Random Things

2009-01-30T14:24:00.000-08:00

So I created this note for Facebook and I thought I would add it to here. The task was to lay out 25 things about yourself, but I'm thinking I'd like to add some more to it. So here they are...

1. I absolutely LOVE music...rock, pop, classical, jazz, Christian, praise and worship, country, you name it. Except for maybe rap...I just don't get it, nor do I care to.
2. I get my love of music from my dad (obviously). He used to make me read the words and backstories behind all of the operas, before our elementary school trips to the Cincinnati Opera. I appreciate this NOW (not so much back then).
3. I am completely addicted to Twitter. You can follow me at @kelli1227 if you want.
4. I am completely addicted to geocaching. Check it out, I'm always up for a caching run. (again, i'm kelli1227)
5. I wanted to both major in Astronomy and be the first female NASA shuttle commander when I grew up.
6. My dad told me that I should start thinking of something else to do, because astronauts and astronomers needed to be able to stay up past 10 pm (which I still don't).
7. Given these first six, it's not a shock that people say I'm a nerd (and I consider this an honor)8. I am an internal thinker. I will answer you in my head, and have completely conversations with myself. Except, no words come out of my mouth. I get this from my dad too.
9. I am really good at math now, but almost failed it in highschool. Take that Mr. Manker!
10. I have a dog named Yolanda (yep - that's right)...and I didn't name her.
11. I was a complete band geek in high school. I played whatever instrument my dad told me too. I wasn't particularly good at any of them except maybe Clarinet and piano.
12. I swore I would have nothing to do with music after I graduated high school. I stuck with this until someone asked me to play last year for church....now I remember how much I love it.
13. I set up one of my guy friends on a date for our senior prom. It turned out the date was already pregnant by some other guy...needless to say, it didn't work out. (He just reminded me of this a few days ago)
14. I have a bachelor's degree in Biology and Chemisty, not that I've ever used this knowledge other than to answer Double Jeopardy questions.
15. I've only had 3 jobs since I graduated from high school and neither have had to do with science.
16. I will be celebrating 10 years with Procter& Gamble in April.
17. I plan to retire from P&G by the time I'm 50.18. I was given a birthday cake for my 33rd birthday that said "I LOVE LAURA DRESSMAN". (there are a few people only who know the back story on that one).
19. God has blessed me with the most beautiful, precious son ever!
20. I never wanted to be a mom when I was little, but he has definitely changed my mind. What an awesome kid!
21. I absolutely love to cook and bake, but I'm really bad at making cookies (not sure why).
22. I did not vote for Obama, but I do have hope.
23. My mom is my best friend and hero.
24. I'm committed to fundraising for the American Cancer Society. I believe we will find a cure for cancer in my lifetime.
25. I LOVE having an awesome job where I can work from home 2 days a week, however with the snow I'm completely stir crazy and can't wait to see my office mates tomorrow (hopefully).

Just checkin in!

2009-01-16T12:45:00.000-08:00

Howdy everyone! Or probably noone!

So, I've made it to the end of a pretty long week. I facilitated a 3 day workshop at my work. The first 2 days completely rocked and I met some really awesome people. The third day was a little weird because it was the core team and they were doing an action planning session. Wow - so glad I'm not on that team! Those people really like to agree with each other only so they can here themselves talk! Enough already!!! And if I hear "I violently agree with you" one more time I'm going to puke!

OK - rant over. I really just wanted to let everyone know that I lost 5 pounds last week!!!!! Go me!! I'm not sure about this week as I really didn't stick to my food plan and I'm pretty sure I have a friend coming to visit early next week!

So that's it - I'll check in soon!

Tata -
K

Burning Questions

2009-01-07T14:34:00.000-08:00

I'm on to day 3 now, and I'm feeling a bit more into the swing of things. I am feeling pretty good about my eating habits. I haven't been all that hungry yet between meals, so we'll see. I'm really a little bummed about not having the energy to work out just yet. I am purposefully saying no "energy" rather than "time". The reality is that I could have left the office 2 hours ago to go work out. I have my workout clothes here in the office, so I guess that's a start.

The other thing that's beginning to irk me a little bit is that I'm not really all that into my work right now. I am feeling unmotivated and that's not exactly a good thing. We're under a lot of pressure to "produce" a lot of output. That's not very inspiring or creative. I'm facilitating a workshop next week. I'm excited to take a step away and use it as an energizing experience. I think some times that if I wasn't where I was right now, that I would facilitate full-time. I need to give that some more thought.

I have a burning question that I'm really struggling with. I'm thinking that if I blog about it than I might be able to come to some fantastic self-awareness. So here it goes.

Why do I overeat?

Yep - that's right. I feel like if I can figure that out, than I might be able to really lose weight once and for all. So far, the answers that come to mind are:

Because I like the taste of it
Because I'm bored

I'm not sure that I'm the type to get all upset about things and eat and eat and eat. I eat crap because I like the way it tastes. I had a pretty good lunch today: a Thai Chicken salad. It had lettuce, broccoli, red peppers, chicken, lo mein noodles, peanuts, and a bit of Peanut Sauce Salad Dressing. I was a little worried at first because it didn't have a lot of salad dressing, but you know what? It turned out to be delicious. And it was only 11 points. I need to find more recipes like this that fill me up and make me feel fulfilled.

OK - that's it for today. I'm going to continue to give the exercise and the eating question some more thought. I'll share back when I can!

Tata - K

A new 2009...Day 1

2009-01-05T08:06:00.000-08:00

So, I really hate the profile picture on this blog. I suppose I chose it for a few reasons. First, I love the view (and my dog) and both of them are in this picture. Second, I think I look not "too" heavy in this picture. And last, it's the only picture of me that I would be willing to share in the off chance that someone were to come across this blog.

So, here's to 2009 and all the great adventures it will bring! Hopefully you will see less (literally) of me, maybe some great pictures, and all kinds of other great adventures. I'll share them as they come!

Let's consider this day 1. I'm a bit hungry and tired. I couldn't sleep well last night because I was too excited (huh?) about going back to work today. Either way. I'm very excited about this new day, week, month, and year. Can't wait to see what it holds!!!