It's Monday and that means that I've been sitting on something that happened last Tuesday, but since I wasn't sure that anyone would read my blog over the weekend, I decided to wait until Monday to post it to Wendy's Life is Funny carnival. If you have something funny, or just want to read things funny, you should visit her. She is pretty funny, too. This is my favorite random post of hers, if you have a few minutes. I also like Square Chickens too, for some reason.
So, the day before Thanksgiving, my son and I went over to my mom and dad's house to brine our Thanksgiving turkeys. He's 8 now, and he's been asking lots of questions when I cook, so I decided to have him help me clean the turkeys and get them ready to go in the brine. We were rinsing the first one off and I reached inside the bird, and pulled out the bag of "innards". I showed him what was in the bag (he was quite taken by the assortment of random bird organs).
Then I flipped the bird over.
I said "Hey, Buddy, watch this."
And then I proceeded to scar the kid for life.
I reached in to the turkey's back end and pulled out the neck.
My son's eyes bulged out of his head like cartoon eyes. And then he started laughing uncontrollably...In an 8 year old potty humor sort of way.
Then it hit me.
"Hey, Buddy, this isn't what you think it is."
"It's the neck, Bud. The neck."
Then he says....."OOOOHHHHHHHH!!!"
I've been cooking turkey my entire adult life and the thought never occured to me that you pull this phallic looking thing out of the bird's behind before you cook it.
Some of you may remember this. About 4 months ago, someone hit my precious Honda in the parking garage at work and caused considerable damage to my baby. The other guy's insurance company graciously offered to cover all of my expenses. I thought they were the greatest insurance company in the world...until they gave me the world's ugliest loaner car (a fire engine red Chevrolet HHR with dark tinted windows). We not-so-lovingly referred to it in our family, as the mob loaner car.
My husband made fun of the car and even refused to ride in it. Well, honey, karma's a bitch!
About 6 weeks ago, he was in a pretty bad car accident where he hit a wheel laying in the middle of the interstate while he was going 65 mph. It was so bad that they had to shut down the interstate while they cleaned up all of the carnage. (Just for the record, my husband was not hurt other than a few bumps and bruises. He's completely fine now.)
Believe it or not, the truck was not totalled, although it cost almost $11,000 AND AN ENTIRE MONTH to fix it. During this time, I mostly drove my mom's car when she didn't need it. We finally got it back about a week and a half ago, and would you believe it shook to high heaven every time he got above 45 mph! Around our neck of the woods, 45 mph doesn't get you anywhere anytime soon!
Before we sent it back to the dealer (on the recommendation of our insurance company), we asked an auto-body friend from church (who we should have taken the truck to in the first place) to look it over and give us a list of anything that needed to be fixed.
This past Monday, hubs took the truck and the "list" back to the shop. I told him I needed my car all week and that I thought the shop should give us a complementary rental car.
Dearest honey. Remember that time you laughed and mocked my mob loaner car?
Ladies and Gentlemen (if there are any who read my blog), I introduce you to the Nissan Versa. What is that, you say? Yeah. My point exactly.
Now picture my 6 foot manly man of a husband in his "baby" loaner car. It may not look like it in this picture, but I promise you this entire car is no bigger than my dad's lazy boy chair. BWAHAHAHAH!!AHAHAHAH!!HAHAHAH
Today was such a beatiful day, so we decided to take the dogs for a swim at one of the local parks.
Normal people take their dogs for walks at the park. However, if there is water anywhere, these two mangy hounds are in it. As soon as we let them off the leashes, they were over the hill and in the water.
The black one, Yoyo, loves to have sticks thrown for her.
She's a faster swimmer than Bear (the golden), so she beat him to the stick every single time.
Coming out for more sticks...
Bear was close to the stick this time, but Yoyo gave him a "what for".
Look how he sits there and listens to her! Although, it kind of looks like he thinks she's a bit crazy too. I think my husband has looked at me like that a few times...hmmmm.
Bear decides to wander off a bit (out of harm's way). Look at the way the sun is reflecting on the water. Would you believe this was only a little after 1:00 in the afternoon?
After about 30 minutes of stick throwing and swimming around, Yoyo got tired and went and laid down in the leaves. Bear, on the other hand, decided to sit in the middle of the lake.
Yes. He's really just sitting there.
We're not sure why, but he pretty much sat there the entire rest of the time we were there.
Since my fat cat is a jealous fat cat, I thought I'd leave you with a picture of how he spent his day...fat cat curled up on top of my blanket basket.
Seriously, I do. f And yes, I realize that leaves are dying and the weather is going to get cold.
To me, fall means the holidays are coming (and I'm still a kid and look forward to Thanksgiving, Christmas, and my Birthday - every year). Fall means the weather is getting colder (which is an absolute fabulous excuse to curl up with someone you love, a warm blanket, or a good book (or all of the above)). f Here are some other things about fall that I love...
1. I love that my puppy will push the leaves into a pile so she can take an afternoon nap. Look how worn out she looks!
2. I love that my lazy fat cat will sit in the window for hours watching the leaves fall. Look at the gorgeous orange tree in the background. LOVE IT!
3. I love going pumpkin and apple picking with my family.
4. I love that little boys think they can do anything...like pulling a heavy pumpkin through a muddy field...uphill...
5. I love that little boys are not above admitting that they are tired and need a bit of help.
6. I love that big boys still love toys too. (Just for the record, I also love that my husband doesn't seem to mind too much that I blog about him.)
7. I love getting dressed up and visiting with our friends from around the community.
8. I love the CUTE Halloween costumes...take Hansel and Gretel here, for example...
"Do you want some bread?"
"I'm done here."
"As in, really done here."
Daddy to the rescue...
Big C (a friendly pirate - with a sword) steps in to
help keep the little ones in place for a cute photo.
9. I leave you with this. Aren't they precious?
And yes, before you ask, all of the photos were taken with my iphone (don't tell my digital camera that's now been collecting dust).
I'm a crazy busy wife (to a 43 year old) and mom (to a 23 year old and 8 year old, a dog, and a cat). I almost forgot, I work full time too and my goal in life is to rid the world of Times New Roman font.